Peter Berman - Coma

  • Season 10 , Ep 20
  • 04/27/2006
  • Views: 5,439

The coma is underrated. (2:06)

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE BETTER. I GO TO CHURCH.

YOU GUYS GO TO CHURCH? DO YOU? 10 OF YOU.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENCOURAGING.

I DO, I GO TO CHURCH WHICH IS WEIRD, 'CAUSE I'M JEWISH.

I GO TO A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH.

I USED TO GO TO A CATHOLICCHURCH WITH MY CATHOLIC FRIENDS.

THAT'S TOTALLY WEIRD, MAN. EVERYBODY GETS UP FOR THE SNACK

AND YOU'RE THEONLY ONE SITTING THERE.

- THEY'RE LIKE, "JEW!" - [LAUGHTER]

YEAH, I GO TO A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH.

I HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGHAPPEN TO ME AT CHURCH RECENTLY.

I GO TO MY CHURCH, AND THERE'S LIKE 150 PEOPLE IN THE CHOIR AT MY CHURCH.

AND THEY'RE ALL DOIN' THEIR LITTLE SLOW GROOVE.

AND THIS WOMANFROM THE CHOIR COMES UPTO GIVE HER TESTIMONIAL

AND THE WOMAN'S LIKE, "A YEARAGO I WAS IN A COMA FOR 32 DAYS,

"BUT MY FAITH IN GOD PULLED ME THROUGH THAT COMA,

"AND MY FAITH IN THIS CHURCH, AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

IN HERE PULLED ME THROUGH THAT COMA." RIGHT?

I WAS LISTENING TO HERI HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFULTHOUGHT I'VE EVER HAD

IN MY WHOLE LIFE. I JUST THOUGHT,

MAN, SHE IS SO LUCKY TOHAVE BEEN IN A COMA FOR 32 DAYS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL YOU GUYS, BUT I COULD USE A MONTH OFF.

WOULDN'T THAT BE SWEET? YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET UP,

GO TO THE BATHROOM, ANSWER THE PHONE, PAY A BILL.

YOU WAKE A MONTH LATER, YOUR SKIN'S NICE AND SOFT.

YOU'RE WELL RESTED. YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT.

I THINK THE COMA'S UNDERRATED, MAN.

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]- YEAH.

YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE BEST PART ABOUT THE COMA, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT,

IT'S THE LOW EXPECTATIONS EVERYONE HAS OF YOU. YEAH.

HERE'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO IMPRESS PEOPLE

WHEN YOU'RE IN A COMA. READY? READY?

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH, I'M THINKIN' ABOUT FAKIN' ONE FOR A MONTH, MAN.

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - THANK YOU. THANKS.

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