Insult Comic

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 10/23/2013
  • Views: 97,874

An insult comic meets his match when an audience member demands to be roasted despite suffering from some very serious deformities. (4:38)

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[cheers and applause]

- THANK YOU, SIR.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, HOW'S EVERYBODY--HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?

[cheers]

ALL RIGHT,AND YOU GUYS

CAN ALL HEAR ME OKAY?all: YEAH.

- I KNOW THIS GUYCAN RIGHT HERE.

BOY, THIS GUY'S EARSARE SO BIG,

HE'S LAUGHING AT JOKESFROM THE YUK-YUK CLUB

ALL THE WAYON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN.

[laughter]

ALL RIGHT.

AND YOU, SIR,YOU'RE DOING OKAY?

AND YOU'RE GETTING ENOUGHTO EAT?

IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

[laughter]

THANK YOU, SIR.

FOLKS, I'M SORRY,

I'M GONNA GET EVERYBODY TONIGHT.

NOBODY IS SAFE.I'M GETTING EVERYBODY.

EXCEPT FOR YOU, SIR.I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE.

JUST LIKE YOUR DATE DID TONIGHT.HELLO!

HUH?ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?

WHO IS NEXT?

HEY, MA'AM, I GET IT,YOU HAVE BREASTS, OKAY?

JEEZ, I MEAN,LOOK AT THIS CHICK OVER HERE.

HER CLEAVAGE IS GIVINGTHE GRAND CANYON

AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

[laughter]

- [computerized voice]YOU SKIPPED ME.

- WHO'S TALKING RIGHT NOW?

- DO ME.

- YEAH, HEY, MAN.

LOOK AT THAT PINK SHIRTYOU GOT ON THERE.

WOW, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?QUEERTSHIRTS.COM?

- IT'S IN SUPPORTOF BREAST CANCER AWARENESS.

I AM GAY, THOUGH.

- OKAY.

- GO FOR IT.

I CAN TAKE IT.

- HMM?OH, YEAH, YEAH.

NO, HEY, YEAH, DON'T YOU WORRYABOUT THAT, MAN.

GLOVES ARE COMING OFF.

OKAY.

RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE, WHAT'SWITH THE THREE DRINKS, MAN?

ALCOHOLIC MUCH?

- THISIS MY PAIN MEDICATION.

- OF [bleep] COURSE IT IS.

IT'S YOUR PAIN MEDICATION.

'CAUSE HE IS IN PAIN.

RIGHT NOW.

- MAKE FUN OF THE BURNS.

- MAKE FUN OF THE--WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BECAUSE HERE'S THE PROBLEM, SIR,IS IT'S REALLY DARK IN HERE,

AND, SORRY, ARE YOU BURNED?BECAUSE I CAN'T MAKE IT OUT.

THANKS SO MUCH, MA'AM,FOR ILLUMINATING HIM.

THANK YOU.THAT'S--I APPRECIATE THAT.

OH, THOSE BURNS.- MAKE FUN OF THE ROBOT VOICE.

- SIR, I DON'T KNOW.

- COME ON,I CAN TAKE IT.

- OKAY, WELL, NO,YOU KNOW WHAT?

I FEEL--- OR THE WHEELCHAIR.

- LOOK, SIR,THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY

ABOUT YOU BEINGIN A WHEELCHAIR,

AND WE CAN ALL--- OH, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING

FUNNY ABOUT ME BEING FAT?

- ALL RIGHT.ALL RIGHT, FINE.

FINE. I'VE GOT IT.I'VE GOT IT.

I'M DOING IT.I'M DOING IT.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GOAFTER THIS GUY

'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT HIMTO KILL ME IN MY DREAMS.

LIKE FREDDY KRUEGER.

[exclamations]

- COME ON.

- 'CAUSE--NO?

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE HOW FREDDYKRUEGER'S FACE IS BURNED OFF.

THAT'S NOT...

- [sobs]

- YOU ASS[bleep].- HE SAID HE COULD TAKE IT.

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

- I THOUGHT I COULD,BUT I CAN'T.

- HOW IS THIS ON ME?

HOW DO WE EVEN KNOWIF HE'S CRYING RIGHT NOW?

[all booing]

I DON'T KNOW THAT SOUND.

IT JUST SOUNDSLIKE AN ELECTRONIC SOUND.

- THE TEARS,THEY BURN.

- HE SAID HE COULD TAKE IT.HE S--

[cheers and applause]

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