I have been toVictoria's Secret.
I had a reason.
You know, as a man,you need a reason
to be in Victoria's Secret.
You can't just be in therelike, "I'm looking around.
See what you ladiesare buying."
I was getting my wife somethingfor Valentine's Day.
You have to reach a pointin a relationship where you can
get a woman somethingfrom Victoria's Secret.
It's not likea first-date thing, like,
"Thanks for meeting mefor dinner.
"I got you a bustier.
Why don't you go in the baño and throw that on?"
Secretly, every guy wantsto go in Victoria's Secret.
We walk by in the mall.
We're like,"Oh, one day.
One day, I'll have a reason."
Because, you know,we've seen the catalog.
You don't even haveto search out the catalog.
It just shows up in your mail.
You're like,"Oh, what's this?
"Seems like there'ssome good articles in here.
If I wasn't married, I could getrejected by all these women."
And guys,we're just dumb enough,
we seethat Victoria's Secret store,
and we think, "Maybe that'swhere those models live.
"They're probablyin there right now,
"walking aroundin angels' wings.
"They're probably in therehaving a pillow fight right now.
"If I could find a practicalreason to go in there,
it would be amazing."
And then you finallygo into Victoria's Secret,
and it's likea Greyhound bus station.
What, are you guysin between shifts in here?
Where's all the angels?
There's just stressed-outsalesladies with headsets on.
"Where's the open bar?"
But you're still a guyin a woman's underwear store.
And you don't wantto look like a creep.
That's why every manat Victoria's Secret
has the same expressionon his face of, "Boring!
"This is place is boringbecause I'm not a pervert.
"There's nothing stimulatingin here
"because it's boring to me,
"especially those huge postersof supermodels mostly naked.