Brian Regan - Serving Size

  • Season 3 , Ep 14
  • 09/07/2000
  • Views: 35,722

Serving sizes are just too small. (2:02)

[laughter]

START UNTUCKING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EAT.

MY DOCTOR TOLD METO READ FOOD LABELS, YOU KNOW.

AND SO I WAS IN THE STORETHE OTHER DAY;

I WAS READINGTHE FIG NEWTONS LABEL.

I'VE ALWAYS LIKED THEM,AND I WAS TRYING TO SEE

IF IT WAS OKAY TO EAT THEM,YOU KNOW.

EVERYTHING LOOKED PRETTY GOOD--THE FAT CONTENT AND EVERYTHING.

SO I'M THINKING I COULD--I COULD EAT THESE.

I LOOKED AT THE SERVING SIZE:TWO COOKIES.

WHO THE HELLEATS TWO COOKIES?

I EAT FIG NEWTONSBY THE SLEEVE.

TWO SLEEVESIS A SERVING SIZE.

I OPEN 'EM BOTH,AND EAT 'EM LIKE A TREE CHIPPER.

[making grinding sound]

FIG NEWTON SHAVINGSCOMING OFF THE SIDE.

THEN I PUT A NEWTON CATCHER,

AND I EMPTY THAT BAG OUTAS A SNACK.

WHAT THE HELLTHEY TALKING ABOUT,

TWO FIG NEWTONS?

THEY'RE THE SIZEOF A POSTAGE STAMP.

"YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?"

"OH, I DON'T KNOW.

"I'VE ALREADY HADTWO WHOLE ENTIRE FIG NEWTONS.

"MAYBE I COULD TRY TO MUSCLEONE MORE DOWN, BUT I--

I AM STUFFED TO THE RAFTERS."

THEY'RE--THEY'RE NUTS.

"WE GOT AN E.R. HERE.

WE GOT A THREE FIG NEWTONEATER."

"HOW MANY DID HE HAVE?

"WHAT IS HE?NUTS?

DOESN'T HE READ?"

WHO'S COMING UPWITH THE SERVING SIZES?

A SERVING SIZE OF ICE CREAMIS A HALF A CUP.

WHAT IS THAT?

IS THAT, LIKE, A JOKESOME GUY PUT ON THERE?

"HEY, COME HERE.

"LOOK WHAT I PUTFOR THE SERVING SIZE.

"DID CHARLIE SEE IT?

"CHARLIE, COME HERE.

"LOOK WHAT I PUTFOR THE SERVING SIZE.

"I JUST DID IT AS A JOKE,BUT IT'S GOING OUT LIKE THAT.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO.

"IT'S ON ALL THE TRUCKS.

JUST LET IT GO, I GUESS."

I THINK A SERVING SIZEOF ICE CREAM

IS WHEN YOU HEAR THE SPOONHIT THE BOTTOM OF THE CONTAINER.

WHEN YOU CAN'T DO THIS NO MORE.

[laughter]

I EVEN RIP THE SIDE.

WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT--HALF A CUP OF ICE CREAM.

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