Sext Photographer - Uncensored

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 05/07/2013
  • Views: 102,717

After many failed attempts at taking a sexy photo of herself, Amy enlists the services of a photographer with very specific talents. (3:35)

♪ Somebody's reallypretty today ♪

♪ Somebody'sreally pretty today ♪

( phone text beeping )

( shutter clicking )

Ugh.

( shutter clicking )

God.

( shutter clicking )

( shutter clicks )

Ooh, ooh.

( phone ringing )

Jess?

( Jess ) What's wrong?

Okay, Bobby just text me,

he wants me to send him, like,a sexy picture.

Oh my God, did you?

No, no, I've been trying

and they're just,like, really bad.

Should I justsend him that one where--

Remember I met Hillary Clintonat LaGuardia?

Should Isend him that one?

You can, like, basically seemy nipple.

They made me take it offFacebook,

so it'sdefinitely not not sexual.

You're taking them yourself?

Yeah... Wait, what?

Honey, let me call my guy.Your guy?

( phone text beeping )

Oh, that's Bobby again.

Okay, I'm calling Danny P. right now.

Danny P.?

( knocking )

Hi, come on in.

Hi, thank you.

Cute place.

Do you teach artto cats?

Can Ioffer you something?

Offer me what?

Half a coconut waterand the dirt from your Brita?

I think I'm actually good,lonelybones,

I'm kind of in a rush.

What do you got already,let's see.

Ooh.

Why the cactus?

That's not a--that's not a cactus.

Okay, we need the bushteam on standby,

it looks likeshe's got a Hasidic rabbi

living in her underpants.

No offense.

Okay.

We're just gonna clean you up,it'll take a second.

20 minutes.

Don't worry, you're in goodhands, okay?

I've done everyone's.

I'm talking Blake Lively,Scarlett Jo,

George Lopez.

It was actually my idea to makeBrett Favre's dick,

like, bright yellow.

No, that was you?

That was me.

Let's get to it.

Did youwear that yesterday?

Yes!

Very good, but don't forgetyour duck mouth,

don't forgetthat duck mouth.

Now you're in a boat.

You're in a boat becauseyou're Pocahontas

and it's the new world!

Maybe less feathers.

Smile like you don'thave Spanx on.

Yeah!

Lay backand look really alluring.

Well, actually, don'tlook dead.

You're pregnant!

You're pregnant withgift cards !

Yeah!

Oh-- Are yougonna shit your pants?

Oh my God, are you gonnashit your pants?

You're so comfy.

Too comfy.

Too comfy.

Look, if you don't watch yourfucking shadow,

I will remove it.

Here we go.

Yes!

You've got a secret and only thepillow can know.

Wash yourself.

Wash your whole body and yourarmpits and under your boobs.

Amy!

Oh no, there's a spiderin your hair!

There's a spiderin your hair!

No!

There's a spider in your hair,get it out!

Yes!

We have our shot,that's a wrap.

You were amazing.

Yoko!

Unplug everything, we're gonnaburn this rat's nest down.

You were so great.

I'd love to stay and chat, butI've got to run downtown.

I have to shoot Diane Keatonbottomless with a turtleneck

like an hour ago, I'm sure youunderstand.

Oh my God, I just don'tknow how to thank you.

Just get fucked.

Bonsoir.

( phone sending tone )

( phone alert )

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