Sarah the Bum

Season 2 , Ep 12 11/06/08 Views: 11,289

Sarah snaps after Officer Jay reminds her that she's sponging off of Laura. (2:15)

[music stops]

OH, GOOD MORNING, DOUG.

WHOA.

[singing]

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY,AND I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUTSIDE

FOR THE B.M. OF A LIFETIME.

[orchestral music resumes]

GOOD MORNING,MRS. BLANKENSOCK!

[singing]HELLO.

♪ WELL, I WONDERIF A BIRD'S EVER-- ♪

[crack][gasps]

[groans]I'M SORRY.

HEY, YOU RUINEDMY HAND, YOU BITCH!

BUT THEN YESTERDAY,THE HOSPITAL

SMELLED LIKE THE LIBRARY.

(Jay) NOW WHY DOES STUFF HAPPEN LIKE THAT?

(Laura) RIGHT?

I STEPPED ONA HOMELESS HAND TODAY.

IT WAS SO GROSS.

I DON'T GETHOMELESS PEOPLE.

I MEAN, IF THEY WANTTO USE THEIR HANDS SO BAD,

WHY DON'T THEY USE ITTO CALL THEIR LITTLE SISTER

AND TELL HER, "I'M HOMELESS,COME PICK ME UP"?

SARAH, IT DOESN'T WORKTHAT WAY.

WHEN YOU'RE HOMELESS,

YOU DON'T JUST CALL YOUR FAMILYTO PICK YOU UP.

(Jay) CAN I EXPAND ON THAT POINT?

HAVE YOU EVER HEARDOF THE EXPRESSION,

"THERE BUT FORTHE GRACE OF GOD GO I"?

NO, BUT I LOVE THAT.

IT COULD HAPPENTO ANYONE, ALL RIGHT?

ANYONE COULD BE HOMELESS.YOU COULD BE HOMELESS.

I MEAN, WE'RE ALL JUSTONE BAD DECISION AWAY

FROM LIVING ON THE STREETS.

ME HOMELESS?THAT IS INSANE, JAY.

I MEAN, THE ONLY THINGMORE INSANE THAN THAT

WAS THE HOMELESS GUYWHOSE HAND I STEPPED ON TODAY.

HE WAS LIKE,"BLEEH! MY HAND!"

MAY I REMIND YOUTHAT YOU HAVE NO JOB

AND THAT LAURA PAYS FOR YOUR RENT

AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHINGYOU POSSESS?

YOU ACTUALLY HAVE NO POSSESSIONS, ALL RIGHT?

FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES,YOU ARE A HOMELESS PERSON.

HEY, HEY, HEY.RELAX, RELAX.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

TAKE IT BACK!YOU TAKE IT BACK, JAY!

HAVE A SEAT, EASY.PUT THE SPOON DOWN.

HERE, HAVEA PIECE OF FRUIT.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

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