And one time I go on--
just 'cause I was in Brooklyn,you know,
in, like, a hip roomwith these young--
I don't--I don't gel with them.
And so there's a guysitting in front
with a sea captain hat on,
like, a little sea captain hat
and a little captain jacket.
And I make one jokeabout his hat--
and by the way, not--
he wasn't wearing thisfor honest gay reasons,
you know, like, really,like, acceptable--
"Oh, you're gay?Fantastic hat, sir.
Let's--you know what?I respect your hat."
No, he was on a date.
He was trying to get [bleep]with that hat, dude.
That was a [bleep]-gettin'captain hat.
So I make one jokeabout his hat.
And then he goes like this,"Really?"
Like--like I'm out of line.
If you saw--this guy looked like
he flew on a hot air balloon
to, like, teach kids aboutreading at the show.
I don't even knowwhat he was doing there.
Now I'm crazy to saysomething.
And by the way--I don't know.
I'm not better than anybody,okay?
I don't care how you dress.
Like, I understandyou have to dress
a certain kind of wayto get a certain kind of tail.
That is whatyou have to do, right?
If you're trying to get--this is hipster town--
trying to land yourselfa girl
that dresses likethe world's youngest grandma.
You can't justnot wear a sea captain hat
when you do that.
Got to have a captain hat.
Just doing that--
But just wink at me.
I'm not also a dippy girlwith purple hair--
like, you understand?
I'm not enchantedby your whimsy,
'cause I also have a penis.
So just, like, acknowledge--
Like, "I know, dude.I'm just--
"I'm trying to trick this--
"I'm trying to trickthis woman
into sitting on my penis,so I had to"--
But that's likewhen people have a type.
You know, I don't--
Do you have a typethat you go for?
No?Me neither, man.
I don't havethose kind of privileges.
To have my type.
I just got to cast my netand catch what I catch.
Sometimesit's fresh young tuna.
Sometimes it's an old boot.
I'm just gratefulto the ocean
for providing meanother day.
[cheers and applause]