Sandra Bernhard - Just Do Me

Paul Mooney & Mike Sweeney Season 1, Ep 56 02/24/1992 Views: 2,635

Sandra gets a t-shirt from the audience. (3:05)

NO, YOU COULDN'T HEAR METALKING, BECAUSE I WASN'T.

I WAS DOING ONE OF THOSESHOW BIZ...

( mouthing words )

( laughing silently )

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FEELING

THAT TONIGHT MAY BE ONE OFTHOSE GREAT SHOW BUSINESS NIGHTS

THAT WE'VE YET TO SEEIN MANY, MANY YEARS.

AND YOU KNOW JUST WHAT I MEAN,SO DON'T FAKE IT WITH ME.

COME ON, KIDS,GET IT UP, GIVE IT UP

IT'S SHOW BUSINESS.

IT'S AT ITS VERY FINEST TONIGHT.

I'VE SPENT A LOT OF YEARSIN THIS BUSINESS.

I'VE SPENT A LOT OF NIGHTS

WITH A LOT OF GREATPEOPLE IN THIS BUSINESS.

FROM THE GREAT COMICS--FROM THE SHECKY GREENES...

( laughter )

TO THE BERLES...

TO THE LEWISES.

I'VE SPENT MANY NIGHTSWITH THE GREAT COMICS

AND THEN I JUST SWUNGALL THE WAY OVER

AND HUNG OUT WITHTHE ROCK 'N' ROLLERS.

AXEL...

I WAS HIS NEIGHBOR FOR AWHILE.

DON'T FORGET THAT.

WE KICKED IN A LOT OF DOORSIN A LOT OF HOTELS, OKAY?

STEVIE NICKS AND I HAVECRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED.

BUT THIS COULD BE ONEOF THOSE SHOW BUSINESS NIGHTS

THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YET,AND I'M SCARED.

( laughter )

BUT I FEEL THE TENSIONMOUNTING, BUILDING.

SOMEBODY'S MOUNTINGSOMEBODY, SOMEWHERE.

WHAT? WHAT IS THAT?

YOU'RE...

IN THE MIDDLEOF MY BRILLIANCE?

YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE MESOME TACKY T-SHIRT?

Woman:YOU'LL LOVE IT.

OH, WE'LL DECIDE THATWHEN WE SEE IT, HONEY.

I LOVE THE... BOLD.

THIS IS JUST FORMY VIEWING ENJOYMENT?

WHAT?

THAT IS? WHAT?

( laughter )

WHAT IS IT, HONEY?

( inaudible )

WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE,A ONE-MAN REVIEW?

WHAT IS THIS?

"JUST DO ME"?

HONEY, NOT WITH THAT BLOUSE.

( laughter and applause )

( hooting )

OH, WOW, I'M TRIPPING.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE '60s.

WHAT?

PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING OUT,THEY'RE FREAKING OUT.

I'M HOLDING THIS FERKACHTE T-SHIRT

LIKE I'M REALLYGOING TO TAKE THIS HOME.

IS IT AT LEAST 100% COTTON?

Woman:AND I WOREIT FIRST, TOO.

( applause )

GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU DIDWITH A KALEIDOSCOPE.

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO...

( applause )

NO, I'M SORRY.

IT'S GETTING FUNKY AND REAL,OR REAL FUNKY, WHATEVER.

OH, NO, HONESTLY,THIS IS A BIG SHOW TONIGHT.