Joe Mande - Such a Bully

Joe Mande Season 1, Ep 9 06/08/2012 Views: 6,699

While in a convenience store late at night, Joe Mande has an alarming exchange with an angry cashier. (1:33)

The best exchange I ever hadwith this girl though,

was last summer.

I, uh, I went in thereright before they closed.

It was, like, 11:00 at night.I grabbed one item.

I got, uh, a pint ofvanilla ice cream.

So, couldn't be moresymbolic on my part.

I put it right in front of herand she picked it up.

And this is verbatim,by the way.

This is word-for-word,our exchange.

She picks up the ice cream,looks at it,

then looks up at meangrily and goes,

"Why you such a bully?"

And I was like, "What?"

"Why... you...such... a... bully?"


"Why you buying ice cream?

You know I can't eatno ice cream."


"'Cause of my braces."


"My braces, stupid."

"My dentist says I can't eat noice cream 'cause of my braces."



"I can eat ice cream;I'm just playing with you."

So, we're together now.(chuckles)

Sh-She's my girlfriend.

It's a beautiful story.