John Oliver - Really White

  • Season 2 , Ep 3
  • 04/07/2011
  • Views: 13,801

Even though John Oliver is so white he's nearly translucent, he still feels creeped out when he's surrounded by all white people. (1:36)

AND I KNOW THATMIGHT SEEM STRANGE

COMING FROM SOMEONEQUITE AS WHITE AS I AM.

NO. (chuckles)I'M REALLY WHITE.

I'M ENGLISH WHITE.THAT'S BASICALLY TURBO WHITE.

(laughter)

MY SKINIS BORDERLINE TRANSLUCENT.

IF I'M STANDING AND THE SUNIS BEHIND ME,

I'M A FUNCTIONING X-RAY

BUT I'VE ALWAYS--

I LIVED IN A VERYMULTICULTURAL PLACE GROWING UP.

I FEEL VERY CREEPED OUTWHENEVER I'M IN TOWNS OR CITIES

THAT ARE ALL WHITE PEOPLE,AND THAT'S ME.

I FEEL THAT WAY.

WHENEVER I GO TO A TOWNTHAT'S ALL WHITE,

ALL I CAN THINK IS,WHAT ARE WE UP TO HERE?

(laughter)

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE BIT.

EVEN WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY,

MY FAVORITE COMEDIANWAS RICHARD PRYOR.

I HAD ALL OF HIS ALBUMSWHEN I WAS GROWING UP.

AND I USED TO LISTEN TO THEMEVERY NIGHT

BEFORE I WENT TO SLEEP,AND CONSEQUENTLY,

I KNEW ALL OF RICHARD PRYOR'SALBUMS OFF BY HEART.

AND BELIEVE ME,YOU HAVE NOT HEARD

THE COMEDY OF RICHARD PRYORUNTIL YOU HAVE HEARD IT

SECONDHAND THROUGH THE VOICE

OF AN 11-YEAR-OLDWHITE BRITISH BOY.

(laughter)

YOU REALLY HAVEN'T.

YOU HONESTLY HAVEN'T.

(high-pitched) BLACK PEOPLEBE HOLDING THEY (bleep) JACK.

THEY BE LIKE,"(bleep) WHAT IT IS."

(normal voice)OH, NO, NO, NO, JOHN.

NO.THAT IS NOT OKAY.

THE WORLDIS NOT READY FOR THIS.

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