Carol Leifer - Hotel Minibar

  • Season 7 , Ep 7
  • 03/20/2003
  • Views: 1,388

Jews will sit around and stare at the price list, mesmerized. (1:57)

I'M ORIGINALLY THOUGH,

FROM LONG ISLAND.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LOOK AT THAT.

PEOPLE FROM LONG ISLAND.

WOW.

DO YOU KNOW, UM...

CLIFF?

LONG ISLAND.

IF YOU'RE FROM OUT OF TOWN

HOW WOULD I DESCRIBE IT?

WELL, EVERY GIRL IN MY

NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKS LIKE KENNY G.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I AM OF THE JEWISH PERSUASION.

(CHEERS)

LOOK AT THAT.

JEWS IN THE HOUSE.

WHAT CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT

MY PEOPLE, JEWS?

WE ARE A THRIFTY BUNCH.

I WOULD SAY THAT.

LIKE TAKE FOR EXAMPLE YOUR

AVERAGE HOTEL MINI-BAR.

RIGHT?

SEE MOST PEOPLE AN ENDLESS

SOURCE OF SNACKS AND

REFRESHMENTS.

TO JEWS, NOTHING BUT A

CONVERSATION PIECE.

(LAUGHTER)

AS WE GATHER AROUND IT,

YOU KNOW, MESMERIZED BY THAT

PRICE LIST.

WOW.

(LAUGHTER)

CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY HAVE

THE NERVE TO CHARGE FOR A

(BLEEP)-DAMN SNICKER'S BAR?

(LAUGHTER)

BASTARDS.

WHAT ELSE CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT

MY PEOPLE?

WE HAVE A LOWER INCIDENCE

OF SUICIDE.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

SURE, WHY NOT?

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY

STATISTICALLY?

MY ONLY HUNCH WOULD BE THAT

IN OUR DEEPEST, DARKEST HOUR

THERE'S ALWAYS SOME VOICE.

IT'S LIKE "OH, MY GOD.

I HATE MY LIFE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I DON'T WANNA GO ON.

OH, LOOK.

CAKE.

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