Yes! Thank you very much!
Welcome to The Nightly Show! Man!
-(audience chanting "Larry!")-Whew!
Thank you very much. Please.
Thank you, oh, so much. So kind.
I appreciate it.I'm Larry Wilmore.
All right, man.It's time for the Democrats
to give us their reason why theythink that nice black family
should leave the white house.I don't know why.
I don't know why peopleare trying to do that.
So it's time to see what'shappening with the Unblackening.
(dramatic music playing)
It always scares me.
It always does.
Now, this country rarely agreeson anything,
but I think we can all agreethat last week's RNC
was a cluster(bleep).
In fact,the convention was so bad
that DNC ChairwomanDebbie Wasserman Schultz tweeted
to RNC chair Reince Priebusduring the convention,
"Hey, Reince-- I'm in Clevelandif you need another chair
to help keep your conventionin order."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
that-that may have beena premature burn.
REPORTER: DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wassermann Schultz forced
to step down after WikiLeaks released a trove
of embarrassing private e-mails by DNC executives.
Looks like the burnerhas become the...
one who got fired, apparently.
Run out of that joke analogyalready.
All right, so this wasalready... was starting out
to be a night of awkward.
And for a while,it lived up to the billing.
Uh, Baltimore MayorStephanie Rawlings-Blake, like,
forgot to bang the gavel,had to run back out.
Then you hadthis congresswoman's
quasi-twin, The Shining sisterwho, like...
Right? She came onstage fora shout-out but wouldn't leave.
It's a shout-out! Go on. Get.
Oh, and then you hadCrying Guy in a Peter Pan Hat.
Get over it. Stop crying.
You're a boyfor the rest of your life.
That's what you wanted,that's what you got.
Stop crying, right? But then...
but then, finally,somebody comes out onstage
and hits it out of the park.
King pointedto the mountaintop,
Kennedy pointed to the moon.
From Seneca Falls to thosewho stood at Stonewall Inn,
giants before us said,in a chorus of conviction,
"America, we will rise!"
Damn, Cory Booker.
You came out there swingin',son.
Quotin' Maya Angelou.
Even-even pullingsome-some church sweat dabbing,
And Hillary Clinton...
Well, y'all know it!
That's right! Mm-hmm.
Take 'em to church, Cory!
Take 'em to church!
That's right, rise.We will rise!
Got to take this off.
That brother's not that excitedabout Hillary, man.
I'm sorry. He just...he just wants to be president.
I can see what's going on there.He figures going in there...
See, this is what he was doing.He's having his, uh,
aught-four Obama momentright now, right?
"I'm-a go out there, man.I'm gonna kill it.
"I better hydrateso I sweat properly.
"This is howyou become president!
"And the next day,I'm gonna be the only one
anybody's talking about."
Michelle Obama was spectacular.
She was splendid.
-So amazing.-Beyond amazing.
-An amazing job.-Great orator.
Just brought down the house.
The moment of the night.
I'm sorry, Cory who?
(chuckling):Oh, my God.
Oh, Michelle's speechwas so overwhelmingly good,
Cory Booker-- not making thisup-- filed a police report
claiming his thunder was stolen.Not making that up.
By the way, she didn'tjust steal his thunder--
she pulled up in a van andstraight-up jacked his thunder.
I watch my daughters,
two beautiful, intelligentblack young women,
playing with their dogson the White House lawn.
And because of Hillary Clinton,my daughters...
and all our sons and daughters,now take for granted
that a woman can be presidentof the United States.
(crying):Yeah, yeah, it's true.
After that speech,a lot of people thought,
that woman should be you!
I'm with her.
(applause and cheering)
Sorry. I apologize.
Now, for moreon last night's speeches,
let's go to Robin Thede,who's live
at convention headquartersin Philadelphia.
So, Robin, all right, so,
what did you thinkabout the lineup last night?
First of all,Michelle looked amazing!
It's not about that,but respect.
-WILMORE: Okay.-Uh, the speech.
-The speech.-WILMORE: Yeah.
The speech was so incredible!
She gave me my wholeentire life, Larry!
Okay.Your whole entire life?
What-what do you mean, Robin?
-Her words broughtpeople together. -Right.
She reset the whole toneof this election.
In her own words,"They go low, and we go high."
(cheers and applause)
She is a better speakerthan Barack, Larry!
They don't call herThe Closer for nothing!
Okay, okay, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
You really liked Michelle.
-Yes.-I get it, Robin.
Okay, but what aboutthe other speakers?
Um, how about like, uh,Elizabeth Warren?
-Did you, uh...-Who?
Oh, the lady that wentafter Michelle?
Yeah, she was cool,but she should have gone
before Michelle becausemy first lady brought it.
I mean, why can't Michellerun for president?
Is it too late?Is it too soon?
I don't know,everybody would vote for her.
Okay, Robin, all right.
Robin, you're a little obsessedwith Michelle right now, okay.
Uh, but luckily, we also sentFranchesca to the convention.
Maybe she did someactual, uh, reporting.
-Franchesca, are you there?-Yes.
-I was here the whole night.-Okay.
I was coveringthe Cory Booker speech.
Oh, great, great, great.
Uh, what are your observationsabout that?
-I got it all on my phone,Larry... -WILMORE: Uh-huh.
...but I threw that onceMichelle started speaking!
She was amazing!
Wasn't she great?!
And when she said,"I wake up every day
-in a house that slavesbuilt..." -Ooh.
BOTH: I need to get a housethat slaves built!
Nobody's getting a housethat slaves built, okay.
Uh, the speech is the only thingyou remember from last night?
I mean, it was great,it wasn't...
it wasn't life changing.
There was a lotof other things that...
What? What did I...
What did he just say?
You know what, let it go, girl.
Like Michelle says,"He goes low, and we go high."
Girl, I'm-a get mea slave house.
Okay, Robin Thede andFranchesca Ramsey, everybody.
Nobody's getting a slave house.
Get out of here.
Get out... All right.
So the night of Michelle Obama
was all set up to showcaseBernie Sanders,
who had the most awkward taskof the evening,
to gently and inspirationallybreak up with his followers.
I understand that many people
here in this convention hall
and around the countryare disappointed.
Based on her ideasand her leadership,
Hillary Clinton must become
the nextPresident of the United States!
(convention cheers and applause)
Of course they're crying!
He's literally dumping themon national television.
Oh, my God.
"Look, you love me, I love you,
"but we can't reallydate anymore.
"Um, remember that personwe hate?
I want you to date her."
So Sanders supportersfeel jilted,
betrayed and even silenced.
And to show their anger,
uh, many wore tapeover their mouths
during last night's speeches.
Since they felt their voicesweren't heard,
we're giving one supportera chance to speak here tonight,
so please welcome Jackie Miller.
(cheers and applause)
Okay, so Jackie...
So, I just want to know, Jackie,so what's your end game here?
Shaping the platform?
Fair point, that's true,
but undecided voterswatching the convention
might think,the Democrats are in chaos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ted Cruz did sayvote your conscience,
and technically we do have morethan two parties, but...
Okay, all right. You're right.
-You're right. Right.-(muffled disagreeing)
False equivalency-- okay.
Okay, you got me.You got me.
That's a very nuanced analysis
of the effects of a compromisedpolitical discourse.
You really broke it down, girl.
-(muffled): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.-Wow.
Okay, so where are youwith Bernie right now?
So you feel that the promiseshe made of a revolution
in the political arena areundetermined by supporting
a candidate who seems to bethe antithesis of that?
All right. So, all right.
What did you thinkof Michelle Obama's speech?
She changed my life!
I'm-a get me a slave house!
-No! No! No!-(chanting): Slave house!
-Nobody's getting a slave house.-Slave house! Slave house!
Jackie Miller, everybody!
-We'll be right back-Yeah!
There's no slave house...