Danny Bhoy - Scottish Breakfast

Danny Bhoy: Subject to Change Season 1, Ep 0101 05/22/2010 Views: 72,712

You can tell a lot about a country from what it eats first thing in the morning. (1:25)

>> BUT HERE'S THE THING.

YOU CAN TELL AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT

A COUNTRY FROM WHAT IT EATS

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

YOUR BREAKFAST, I THINK, TELLS

YOU A LOT ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

AS A COUNTRY.

WE IN SCOTLAND, WE LIKE ANYTHING

FOR BREAKFAST: BACON, SAUSAGE,

EGGS, BEANS, CHIPS, BURGERS.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD.

WE SHALL HAVE IT; SO LONG AS

IT'S DEEP-FRIED, WE DON'T GIVE

A SHIT.

IT'S A MESSAGE TO US.

IT'S WHAT GAVE US 300 YEARS

OF INDEPENDENCE.

THE ENGLISH USED TO RUN UP TO

THE BORDER, SEE US CHEWING ON

A BLACK PUDDING, AND GO,

"CALL OFF THE ATTACK.

LOOK AT WHAT THEY'RE PREPARED

TO DO TO THEMSELVES."

HEH?

THAT'S THE ROBUSTNESS OF THE

SCOTTISH BREAKFAST.

BUT YOU COMPARE THAT TO THE

FRENCH BREAKFAST,

FOR GOD'S SAKE,

A CROISSANT.

[French accent] "YEAAAAH.

ME, I LOVE JUST A LITTLE

CROISSANT.

MAAAHH.

AND THEN I WILL HAVE

TO LIE DOWN

BECAUSE I WILL BE QUITE FULL

AFTER MY LITTLE CROISSANT."

[normal voice] IT'S NOT

A BREAKFAST; IT'S A BIT OF

PASTRY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

WE PUT THAT ON TOP OF A MEAT

PIE.

IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE FRENCH,

THOUGH, THE OLD CROISSANT,

DOESN'T IT?

IT SAYS, "WE ARE FLAKY AND

A LITTLE BIT GAY.

THAT IS--THAT IS BASICALLY WHO

WE ARE."

[applause]