Pokémon GO isthe absolutely amazing... app...
...that already has moredaily users than Twitter.
Also, uh,more engagement than Facebook,
and the main reasonwhy I had to explain
to two women in a yogurt shopthat I was not trying
to take a photographof their children.
You got to turn AR offwhen you're in public.
So, brief explanation.
You use your phone's GPS tocatch Pokémon in the real world.
For instance, if you gointo a bar at 11:00 a.m.,
you might catch a Day Drunk-eon,
which, as the kids know,evolves into Chunkle.
Of course because Pokémon GO exists online,
people having been using itfor-- guess what-- (bleep).
Everything on the Internetequals (bleep) at some point.
The whole Internet is just...
We're just apes tryingto get (bleep) on our dicks.
Craigslist is drippingwith pocket-monster-related
hookup requests,like this one posted to Imgur.
Here it is at the top.
"Let's play Pokémon GO while we (bleep)."
-(laughter)-Cut to the chase, man.
Uh, he says, "Pokémon GO is out on phones.
"You can catch Pokémonrandomly anywhere.
Why not see what I can catchon your tits and ass?"
-(laughter)"Let me make you Squirtle."
I just hopeshe's not one of those girls
who fartleswhile she Squirtles.
Shut up. If he was really good,he'd make her Blastoise.
if this indeed is the futureof hooking up, please give me
another video game-inspiredpick-up line.
Lauren Lapkus, go.
Hey, are you a rock band?
Because you totally looklike you could ruin a party.
-(laughter)-Good job. Matt Besser.
Chris, back in the daythey used to call me Pac-Man,
'cause pussies are always(bleep).
But these days, my line is,
"Baby, my dick onlyfall out four you."
-Nice.-(applause and cheering)
-Uh, finish him... on my face.-All right.