John Oliver - America's Downfall

  • Season 2 , Ep 4
  • 04/14/2011
  • Views: 20,129

Do you have any idea how powerful a message you are sending to the world when you push a jet ski off the roof of a 10-story building? (3:17)

HAVING FINISHED SOMETHING,

THEY'D STOP AND MOVE ONAND DO SOMETHING ELSE.

BUT I GUESS THERE'S THATSPECIAL QUALITY IN AMERICANS,

THAT PIONEERING SPIRITWHICH THROUGHOUT HISTORY

HAS PUSHED YOU THAT EXTRA MILETO ACHIEVE THE INCREDIBLE.

SO INSTEAD OF STOPPINGWITH "WIPE OUT,"

INSTEAD,YOU CREATED A SHOW

CALLED "DOWNFALL."

AND THE FACT THAT NO ONE THISROOM KNOWS WHAT DOWNFALL IS

IS A TRAGEDY THAT I WILL NOWCORRECT FOR YOU.

DOWNFALL WAS ON VERY BRIEFLYLAST YEAR,

AND IT WAS A GAME SHOW INTHE NORMAL SENSE OF THE WORD.

PEOPLE COMPETED TO WIN PRIZES.

THE TWIST THOUGH,THE INSPIRED TWIST

WAS THAT IN "DOWNFALL,"IF YOU FAILED TO WIN

ONE OF THE PRIZES,

THAT PRIZE WAS THEN PUSHEDFROM THE ROOF

OF A 10-STORY BUILDING.

(laughter and applause)

PRIZES LIKE GRAND PIANOS.

(laughter)

JET SKIS.

PUSHED FROM THE ROOFOF A 10-STORY BUILDING.

YOU DID THAT.YOU DID THAT.

YOU DID THAT.

IN FACT,NOT ONLY DID YOU DO IT,

YOU THEN DIDN'T WATCH ITAS WELL.

YOU--YOU EXERCISED FREEDOMIN ITS FULLEST SENSE.

OH, I WANT YOU TO MAKETHAT PROGRAM,

DON'T GET ME WRONG,

IT'S JUSTI WILL NOT BE TUNING IN.

BUT I WANT TO KNOWIT'S THERE.

I WANT TO KNOW THAT ICAN FLIP PASS IT AND IGNORE IT

IF I WANT TO.

THAT--THAT IS MY RIGHT.

DO YOU ALSO--DO YOU HAVEANY IDEA

HOW POWERFUL A MESSAGEYOU ARE SENDING TO THE WORLD

WHEN YOU PUSH A JET SKI--

A JET SKI--

FROM A 10-STORY BUILDING?

I WAS TAKEN OFF THE AIRBY ABC AFTER JUST FIVE WEEKS,

PRESUMABLY BECAUSEIT WAS JUST TOO GOOD.

(laughter)

WE'RE NOT READY YETFOR ANYTHING OF THAT QUALITY.

THE HUMAN BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE ITWITHOUT EXPLODING.

BUT THINK FOR A SECONDABOUT WHAT--

ABOUT WHAT WE GAVE UP.

BECAUSE THAT WAS THE BIGGESTIMAGINABLE (bleep) YOU

TO TERRORISTSYOU COULD POSSIBLY ISSUE.

I PROMISE YOU,WHEN YOU PUSH A JET SKI--

A JET SKI--FROM A 10-STORY BUILDING,

WHAT YOU'RE ESSENTIALLYSAYING IS,

"THERE IS NOTHINGYOU CAN DO TO US

THAT WE ARE NOT ALREADYDOING TO OURSELVES."

(laughter)

(applause)

(cheers and applause)

PASS ME ANOTHER JET SKI.

(laughter)

THESE PEOPLEDON'T FRIGHTEN ME.

I FRIGHTEN ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

I GOT JET SKIS FOR DAYS,SON.

(laughter)

FOR DAYS, SON.

(applause)

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