Marc Maron - Man Up

  • Season 3 , Ep 3
  • 08/03/2012
  • Views: 10,674

The bar had been set pretty low by the p***y behind Marc Maron. (2:05)

SO, ALRIGHT, AT THISPOINT IN THE STORY

I JUST WANNA SAY, LOOK, FOLKS,YOU DON'T CHOOSE YOUR SCREAM.

(laughter)

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'SGONNA COME OUT OF YOU.

YOU ONLY HOPE FOR THE BEST.YOU MAY HAVE AN IDEA.

I MEAN, I'VE HAD WEIRD MOMENTSWITH SPIDER WEBS I DIDN'T SEE,

YOU KNOW, LIKE "OH,DID THAT JUST COME OUT OF ME?

NOW OKAY, NOW, GRANTED THE BARHAD BEEN SET PRETTY WELL

BY THE PUSSY BEHIND ME,

BUT I'M PROUD TO REPORT THATWHEN THE PLANE FELL

OUT OF THE AIR AGAIN,

WHAT CAME OUT OF ME WHENI WAS TERRIFIED TO MY CORE

WAS "OH, COME ON."

(cheers and applause)

I DIDN'T GLOAT.

I DIDN'T TURN AROUND AND GO,"THAT'S HOW A MAN SCREAMS.

I WANT YOU TO PUT A LID ON THATLITTLE GIRL INSIDE YOU.

GET IT TOGETHER AND MAN UP.COME ON, BUDDY.

GET HOLD OF YOURSELF."

AND THEN WHEN THE PLANELURCHED TO THE LEFT,

I LET OUT ONE OF THESE,"ARE YOU (bleep) KIDDING ME?"

I'M A LITTLE ASHAMED TOREPORT THAT I DID LET OUT ONE,

"JESUS, NOT LIKE THIS."

HE'S NOT EVEN MY GUY, YOU KNOW,HE WAS NEVER MY GUY.

MY PEOPLE COME FROM THE FATHER,THE ORIGINAL,

THE ONLY TRUE GODBUT LIVE THE LIE YOU WANT.

BEING AS JESUS IS SO CATCHY,WHAT AM I GONNA SAY,

" YAHWEH, NO!"

THEN YOU...YOU GOT TO EXPLAINYOURSELF.

I DON'T KNOW.IT'S AN OLD TESTAMENT THING.

I DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT LANGUAGE IT IS.

YEAH, IT'S STUPID.I KNOW.

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