Dan Cummins - Vegetarians

Oswalt, Mulaney, Edwards, Cummins, Mordal, Prekel, Borowitz Season 1, Ep 3 08/03/2006 Views: 14,764

Dan is far from being a vegetarian. (1:21)

She's a vegetarian. Ugh!

Ew!It's gross. It's gross.

She's a real vegetarian, too.

Yeah, real--I say "real" vegetarian.

I'm amazed how many peoplewill say they're vegetarian,

and then add,"Well, I eat a little chicken."

Well, then you're nota vegetarian.

You're what's known as a liar.

( laughter )

And that's why our familyhates you, Aunt Ruth.

We can't trust you.

I don't how she does it--like, I-I need meat.

Like, I need it.I have to have meat to live.

Like, I don't condonecannibalism,

but I get it.

I don't judge.

My wife and I were watchingthat movie Alive,

where the plane crashesin the mountains

and the people haveto eat each other to live.

She was horrified;she was, like,

"Oh, my God,I could not do that. Could you?"

( chuckles ):Heh-heh. Yeah.

Ever since watching that movie,when I fly

I throw a little A-1in my suitcase.

( laughter )

( applause )


I was a Boy Scout.

"Be prepared."

I like meat,and now I kind of like