I was so hoping thiswas gonna go well,
'cause I'm Japanese,and we take failure seriously.
If Japanese businessmenmess up at the office,
they open up the windowand jump out.
We take it seriously.
That's why I'm alwaysafraid to eat at places
You don't want to callthe chef on his mistakes.
He has knives on his belt.
"I'm sorry, I orderedthis steak medium rare;
this is well done."
And he's just all... (growls)
"I'm sorry!" (grunts)
But it's Benihana.
He might put on a showwhile he's doing it, right?
(laughter and applause)
'Cause that's what we do.
We apologize,and we're good at it.
You ever bumpinto a Japanese tourist.
They're always like, "Sorry,sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..."
It could be your fault.
Put your leg out,they'll trip on it.
"Oh, sorry for your leg.Sorry for your leg, sorry."
They must've had some seriousguilt over Pearl Harbor.
"Boom... sorry... boom... sorry.
"Sorry...(imitates machine gun)
"...sorry, sorry, sorry.
Boom... that's a big sorry."
Which is a horrible joke.
I think the worst part
of that whole joke
is I was pretending to be Asian,and then I made my eyes small.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry."