Number One Dad

Po Boy Season 2, Ep 4 09/26/2014 Views: 4,298

Monroe Martin, Rick Glassman and Kurt Braunohler have a few questions for Adam about his newest family member. (1:52)

- DUDE, YOU HIREDYOUR OWN LITTLE PERSON?

- THAT IS NOTPOLITICALLY CORRECT.

THE POLITICAL CORRECT TERMIS MIDGET,

AND HE'S NEITHEROF THOSE THINGS.

HE'S MY ADOPTED SON.

- I REALLY LIKETHE WAY HE LOOKS.

- CHILL OUT, RICK.- HE'S CUTE.

- WATCH IT, RICK.

- I HAD NO IDEAYOU ADOPTED A KID.

THAT'S REALLYGENEROUS OF YOU, ADAM.

- THANK YOU.

I JUST SAW HIM ON THE STREETSLAST NIGHT AT ABOUT 3:00 A.M.

I WAS STUMBLING DRUNK.

I SEETHIS DIRTY LITTLE BOY,

AND I'M LIKE,"I MUST PROTECT HIM,

GIVE HIM A ROOF,AND BATHE HIM."

- YOU JUST BROUGHT HIMTO YOUR HOUSE, WASHED HIM UP,

HIS LITTLE BALLSAND EVERYTHING?

- YES--NO, NOT THE BALLS.I DID NOT--

- SO YOU'RE SAYINGYOU KEPT HIM HAVING DIRTY BALLS.

- I DIDN'T--WHY WOULD I WASH HIS BALLS?

THAT'S A PERVY--

- YOU HAVE A DIRTY-BALLED BOYIN A TUXEDO

THAT YOU KIDNAPPED.

- I DID NOT KIDNAP HIM.

IT WAS MORE LIKEA CITIZEN'S ADOPT,

WHICH IS LIKEA CITIZEN'S ARREST,

BUT MORE LOVING-BASED.

- THAT'S NOT A THING.- IT'S DEFINITELY A THING.

- [snapping]PO' BOY, I SUMMON YOU.

- PO' BOY--THAT CAN'T BEHIS REAL NAME.

DO YOU EVEN KNOWHIS REAL NAME?

- OF COURSE I DO.IT IS SKYLIGHT.

NO, IT ISN'T.

OKAY, I DON'T KNOWHIS REAL NAME,

BUT I BELIEVE,AS HIS LEGAL FATHER-GUARDIAN,

THAT ONE SHOULD NAMETHINESELVES.

SO, PO' BOY,IS YOUR NAME CHAD?

IS IT LOCO?

IS IT PARTYMAN 5,000?

IT'S PARTYMAN 5,000.- NOT A NAME, MAN.

- THAT'S, LIKE, A NAMEFOR A BAD ROBOT.

- WELL, IF HE THOUGHTI WAS A BAD DAD,

WHY WOULD HE GIVE ME A HATTHAT SAYS "NUMBER ONE DAD"?

- IT'S OBVIOUS YOU JUST BOUGHTTHAT FOR HIM TO GIVE TO YOU.

- I MAKE NO ONEDO ANYTHING,

EXCEPT I'M GONNA MAKE YOU GUYSBABYSIT HIM,

AND, RICK,COME ONSTAGE AND--

RICK!- NO.

- COME WITH ME.- YEAH.

[cheers and applause]