Johnny Sanchez - Just Metal

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 4,595

The new bumper cars suck. (1:00)

(Johnny Sanchez)THEY HAVE NEW BUMPER CARSNOW, THESE KIDS--THEY SUCK.

IT'S MAGNETICALLY RUNFROM UNDERNEATH--THEY SUCK.

WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP,WE HAD THE COOL ONES.

WE HAD THE ONES THAT WENTTO THE TOP, WITH THE POLE.

IT WAS, LIKE, RIGHT BEHINDYOU, REMEMBER THAT?

IT WAS, LIKE, RIGHT THERE.

SPARKS EVERYWHERE,REMEMBER THAT?

REMEMBER THAT... ITWAS LIKE A WELDER'SWET DREAM IN THERE.

IT WAS LIKE,PSHHHHHHHHT, PSHHHHT.

YOU HAD ALL THESEEMBERS FALLING ON THEBACK OF YOUR NECK.

PSHHHHHHHT.

YOUR HAIR IS SMOKING,ADULTS ARE TRYING TOLIGHT THEIR CIGARETTE,

BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN,THERE WAS THAT TWEAKEDONE THAT WAS ALL TWISTED,

AND YOU KNEW WHOEVERGOT IN THAT CAR WASGONNA BE THE TARGET,

RIGHT?

'CAUSE THAT WAS THAT(beep) ONE THAT ONLYWENT IN CIRCLES.

REMEMBER...THAT KID'S LIKE...

(using child's voice)"WHAT THE HELL,I GOT THE CRAPPY"...

WHEN YOU GOT HIT BACKTHEN, YOU GOT HIT, MAN.

NOT LIKE THESE WIMPYBUMPER CARS THEY HAVE NOW

WITH PADDING, SEATBELTS AND AIR BAGS.

BACK THEN IT WAS JUSTMETAL, THAT'S IT.

IT WAS LIKE SITTINGIN A WHEELBARROW.

YOU GOT HIT, MAN, THEREWAS SOME PERMANENT

DAM-(whack)-OHMY-(whack)-HOLY...

YOU SEE THAT KID WALKINGOUT WITH LIABILITY.

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