The last couple of years werekind of, ah, interesting.
I think the most intense thingthat happened to me was
I went througha really painful breakup,
but I'm glad it happened becauseactually I learned a lot.
I feel like, you know what,
I figured out whycouples breakup.
I think it's this--
I think couples break upbecause we're all operating
under different definitionsof the word "love."
If you think about it,we say this word to each other,
and I think it justmakes us raise expectations.
You know, I feel likeif we were all to just agree
on a universal definitionof the word "love,"
we'd stop disappointingeach other so much, you know?
So to me,my definition of love
is being willing to diefor someone...
( SIGHS )
that you yourselfwant to kill.
I also thinkin this culture
we express lovein a very twisted way.
In this culture we show loveby giving each other presents--
jewelry and trips and stuff--
and to me, that's notwhat love's about.
That's too easy, you know.
For me love is about the wayyou treat a person
on a daily basiswhen no one else is around.
Little things, you know?
Like, if you love me,for example,
the second sex is over,
if I was on top,don't push me off you...
...as quickly as possible.
If you love me,you will let me dismount
with a little( bleep ) dignity.
( APPLAUSE )
You will let me dismountlike the swan that I am.
Thank you, sir.