Uncensored - Whitney Cummings - Different Definitions of Love

Whitney Cummings: I Love You 06/28/2014 Views: 33,104

Whitney Cummings believes that we all need to agree on a universal definition of the word "love." (1:41)

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The last couple of years werekind of, ah, interesting.

I think the most intense thingthat happened to me was

I went througha really painful breakup,

but I'm glad it happened becauseactually I learned a lot.

I feel like, you know what,

I figured out whycouples breakup.

I think it's this--

I think couples break upbecause we're all operating

under different definitionsof the word "love."

If you think about it,we say this word to each other,

and I think it justmakes us raise expectations.

You know, I feel likeif we were all to just agree

on a universal definitionof the word "love,"

we'd stop disappointingeach other so much, you know?

So to me,my definition of love

is being willing to diefor someone...

( SIGHS )

that you yourselfwant to kill.

I also thinkin this culture

we express lovein a very twisted way.

In this culture we show loveby giving each other presents--

jewelry and trips and stuff--

and to me, that's notwhat love's about.

That's too easy, you know.

For me love is about the wayyou treat a person

on a daily basiswhen no one else is around.

Little things, you know?

Like, if you love me,for example,

the second sex is over,

if I was on top,don't push me off you...

...as quickly as possible.

If you love me,you will let me dismount

with a little( bleep ) dignity.

( APPLAUSE )

You will let me dismountlike the swan that I am.

Thank you, sir.