Ron G - The Ex-Boyfriend

  • Season 4, Ep 0408
  • 12/11/2009
  • Views: 249

You ever get hit so hard, you wake up in a place that has nothing to do with where the fight started? (2:48)

You know, you don't wantto get your heart...

'Cause this is what I learned:

When I was a jerk, I met nicegirls. Now I'm a nice guy,

I meet girls that are jerksall the time.

Fellows, I'm the only one?Okay, cool.

So, I'm gonna tell youthis story.

True story.I'm thinking I'm in love.

I meet this girlin my acting class, right?

Absolutely gorgeous, beautiful.

Class was over. She was, like,

"You want to walk me to my car?"

I was, like, "Uh, yeah!"

So I walk her to the car,right?

We standing next to the car,she was, like,

"So, Ron, you dating anybody?"I was, like, "No, I'm single."

She was, like, "Cool."I said, "You dating anybody?"

She was, like, "No, um,well, actually,

"my boyfriend, he cheated on me,

and now he want to call meand get back with me.

He make me sick."

I'm, like, "Did you tell himit was over?"

She was, like, "No, ain'tnothing to talk about.

He cheated on me."

I was, like, "Sound like drama."She, was, like, "And?"

So she's, like, "Uh, you wantto hang out later?"

I was, like, "Uh, yeah!"

So we go hang out, right?

We have a great time.

I pull up in front of herhouse at 1:00 in the morning.

Date was great. We got thelittle goofy look on our face.

She didn't want me to leave.I didn't want her to leave,

so she's like, "You wantto come up for a minute?"

I was, like, "Uh, yeah!"So, we go upstairs, right?

I take my coat off,throw my keys down,

and we started talking.I'm being a nice guy.

She was, like, "So, um..."And as I'm talking,

she puts her finger on my lipsand started kissing me.

I'm, like, "Oh-oh,it's about to go down.

My face, like,"This is a good thing."

So she was, like,"It's a little hot in here.

Do you want to goin my room?"

I was, like, "Uh, yeah!"

So, we in the room, right?

She take her shirt off,sexy little bra.

I lay her down,I start kissing.

As I'm kissing her, I heara knock at the door. (knocks)

I jump up, put my pants on.

I step into my shoein the wrong foot.

As this was happening, I hearboom! "Where you at?!"

He comes in the bedroom-- boom!

He was, like, "What's up, punk?You with my girl?

"You got me out hereat 3:00 in the morning,

and I'm trying to talkto my girl?!"

I was, like, "Uh,yeah."

(laughs)

I say, "Can I get my shoe?"He was, like, "No!"

I was, like, "I didn't wantthe shoe anyway."

So I'm running down the streetwith one shoe on.

I'm in the alley standingon one foot like a flamingo.

I call my homeboy.

I was, like, "Hey, dawg,somebody about to die.

Come get me." Click.Let me tell you what happened.

My homeboy showed upin 12 minutes.

I was proud of him.He showed up.

The problem was. he showed uplike we going to a pool party.

This dude got on a TapouTT-shirt and some flip-flops.

I'm, like, "Dude, I said

"somebody about to die,not drown.

What are you doing?"

So I get my confidence back up.I said, "Dude, I can't leave.

I gotta go get my keysand my coat."

I was, like, "Cool. So pull upin front of the house,

let me go get my stuff."

So I get my confidence up,I walk up to the door,

take an exhale.

As I'm opening the door,he swing the door open

and punch me.

Now, first of all,

I'd never been punched before.

I didn't get no flyeror nothing. I just got punched.

You ever get hit so hard,you wake up in a place that had

nothing to dowith where the fight started?

This dude hit me so hard,I woke up in the car

with all my clothes on.

My shoes was on the right foot,and my keys was in the ignition.

My homeboy was looking at me.He was, like, You ready to go?"

I was, like, "Uh, yeah!"

Loading...