Adam Ferrara - Mrs. Lincoln

  • Season 4 , Ep 5
  • 12/31/2000
  • Views: 11,985

Abraham Lincoln wanted to end the Civil War, but his wife forced him to take her out. (1:17)

NEGATIVE ENERGY.

DON'T LET IT BUILD UP.

YOU END UP SCREAMING AT EACH

OTHER OVER SOMETHING TOTALLY

STUPID, LIKE, "WHY'D YOU PUT

THIS SPOON IN THIS DRAWER?"

"JUST TO PISS YOU OFF.

THAT'S WHY.

I GOT SPOONS HIDDEN ALL OVER

THIS HOUSE.

(APPLAUSE)

KEEP IT UP AND YOUR NAPKIN RINGS

ARE GONNA START DISAPPEARING."

(LAUGHTER)

I'M PRETTY SURE MRS. LINCOLN GOT

ABE KILLED.

ABE WAS HOME TRYING TO SOLVE THE

CIVIL WAR.

MRS. LINCOLN, "TAKE ME OUT;

TAKE ME OUT; TAKE ME OUT.

I WANT TO GO TO THE THEATRE,

ABRAHAM."

"HONEY, THE COUNTRY'S AT WAR."

"OH, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH

YOU.

YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME WE WERE

OUT?

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO."

(LAUGHTER)

LINCOLN'S SITTING UP IN THE

BALCONY LIKE, "OH, SOMEBODY

SHOOT ME."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND WHISTLING)

YOU KNOW, THE HARDEST PART OF

THAT JOKE IS THE DISMOUNT.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS)

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