John Henton - Tiger Woods

  • Season 20 , Ep 2001
  • 09/04/1998
  • Views: 4,150

Everybody knows that, in this country, if you look black, you are black. (2:17)

LEONARDO TRIED TO GET THE GIRLUP ON THAT PIECE OF BOARD,

HE CAN'T GET ON, HE FALLS OFF,AND PUTS HER ON THE BOARD.

HE JUST SITS THEREAND FLOATS IN THE WATER.

( stuttering from cold)"I-I L-LOVE YOU..."

I WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE,"B-B-BITCH, IT'S YOUR TURN,

"TO-TO GET IN THISC-COLD-ASS WATER,I'M F-FREEZING... !

"I-I-I JUST MET YOU 2 DAYS AGO,I DON'T LOVE YOU, LIKE THAT.

"FIND YOU'RE OWNPIECE OF BOARD."

I REMEMBER LAST YEAR,I WAS LAYING ON MY COUCH,

A NICE SUNDAY AFTERNOON

FLIPPING THROUGH THE STATIONS,AND I SEE GOLF TOURNAMENT ON.

I AIN'T SUPPOSED TOBE WATCHING NO GOLF,BUT I SAW A BROTHER,

IN A TOURNAMENT CALLED"THE MASTERS",

IN AUGUSTA, GEORGIA,WITH A WHITE CADDY,

AND HE WAS WINNING, I'M LIKE,"MARTIN LUTHER,WE HAVE OVERCOME, THIS IS IT."

I THOUGHT IT WAS A BROTHERI WAS ALL HAPPY FOR HIM,

THEY SAID, "WELL TIGER,YOU'RE THE FIRST AFRICAN--"

HE SAYS, "AH-AH-AH-AH !

"FIRST OF ALL,I'M NOT AFRICAN-AMERICAN,

"I'M 2/3 THIS, 1/4 OF THAT,A FIFTH OF IRISH--"

HOW MANY PEOPLE WASHAVING SEX THAT NIGHT, TIGER ?

EVERYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY KNOWIF YOU LOOK BLACK, YOU'RE BLACK.

EXCEPT FOR TIGER.

I GOT A LITTLE TIPFOR YOU, TIGER.

SAY YOU'RE DRIVINGDOWN THE HIGHWAY AT NIGHTAND YOU'RE SPEEDING--

AND THE OFFICERPULL YOU OVER AND SAY,"GET OUT OF THE CAR, N-- !"

YOU MIGHT WANT TOGET OUT THAT CAR, TIGER,

JUST IN CASE THE OFFICER'SNOT GOOD WITH FRACTIONS.

MAYBE HE MESSED THAT UPON THE POLICE EXAM.

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