Billy Bonnell - Arguing in the 90s

Potagooo Season 2, Ep 6 10/10/2014 Views: 22,152

Billy Bonnell fondly remembers a time in his life when it was easy to lie to his friends. (1:42)

JUST WIN A ARGUMENT WITH A LIE?

GOOD TIMES.

YOU COULD JUST B.S. YOUR WAYTHROUGH A CONVERSATION,

AND NO ONE COULD SAY ANYTHING.THEY WOULD JUST BE LIKE,

"I GUESS HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH.

I AM NOT GOING TO THE LIBRARYTO LOOK THAT UP."

AND IF A DEBATE EVER GOTREALLY HEATED IN THE '90s

AND PEOPLE WANTED TO FIND OUTIF YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH,

THEY WOULD JUST BE LIKE,"DO YOU SWEAR TO GOD?"

[laughter and applause]

AND IF YOU DID SWEAR TO GOD,IT WAS THE ULTIMATE AFFIRMATION.

EVERYONE WOULD BE LIKE,"RELAX. WE BELIEVE YOU NOW.

"NO WAY YOU'D BRING GODINTO THIS

IF YOU WERE LYINGTHROUGH YOUR TEETH."

THAT'S SO MUCH HARDER NOW.

YOU FAST-FORWARDTO THE PRESENT DAY.

YOU SAY ANYTHING REMOTELY CRAZY,

YOU FRIEND'S ALREADYON HIS CELL PHONE GOING,

"KEEP TALKING, DUDE.

"THAT SOUNDS SUSPECT.

"I'M ABOUT TO PROVE YOU WRONGINSTANTLY

IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLEAT BUFFALO WILD WINGS."

IT'S TOUGHER TO LIE NOW.YOU CAN STILL DO IT.

YOU JUST GOT TO USE OTHER STUFFTO BACK YOU UP.

LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,IF I TOLD YOU SOMETHING LIKE,

"DID YOU GUYS KNOW THATTHE LONGEST BEAVER DAM

"ON THE PLANETIS 2,800 FEET LONG?

"AND THAT'S ROUGHLY THE DISTANCEOF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE?

"AND IT WAS BUILTBY A SINGLE BEAVER

"THAT WAS GIVEN COCAINE

"OVER THE PERIOD OF ONE YEARBY STUDENTS

AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA?"

SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE SKEPTICAL,

BUT BEFORE YOU COULDGET TOO SKEPTICAL,

I'D BE LIKE, "WELL,IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,

THEN GOOGLE ME, BITCH."

AND THEN EVERYONE WOULD BE LIKE,"RELAX. WE BELIEVE YOU NOW.

"NO WAY YOU'D BRING GOOGLEINTO THIS

IF YOU WERE LYINGTHROUGH YOUR TEETH."

[cheers and applause]

I LIKE THE FUTURE. PEOPLE DON'TEVEN DRINK COFFEE ANYMORE.