Uncensored - Steve Rannazzisi - Wife Invasion Pt. 1

Steve Rannazzisi: Manchild Season 1, Ep 101 11/16/2013 Views: 4,261

Steve Rannazzisi misses the things he owned before his wife moved in with him, even though they weren't nice things. (2:14)

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WE'VE BEEN MARRIED SEVEN YEARS,

AND WE LIVED TOGETHERBEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

PEOPLE ASK,"WHEN DID YOU GUYS MOVE IN?

WHEN DID YOU GUYS DECIDEYOU WERE GONNA DO THAT?"

I'M LIKE, "I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

"ONE DAY SHE WAS THERE,

"AND THEN SHE JUSTSORT OF NEVER LEFT.

THAT WAS IT."

WOMEN DON'T NECESSARILY TELL YOUWHEN THEY MOVE IN.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

THEY JUST SLOWLY INVADEYOUR SHIT LIKE GERMANY.

EVERY DAY YOU FINDNEW SHIT AT YOUR HOUSE.

YEAH.

THEY DON'T SAY LIKE,"HEY, CAN YOU MAKE ME A KEY?"

THEY JUST COME IN.

YOU START TO SEE THINGSTHAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE --

TOOTHBRUSHES AND THEN HER iPOD.

THEN YOU START TO SEEPICTURES OF PEOPLE

THAT YOU NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE.

YOU DON'T KNOWWHO THESE PEOPLE ARE.

THERE'S A PICTUREOF SOME DUDE WITH A SOMBRERO

ON YOUR REFRIGERATOR.

YOU'RE LIKE, "WHO THE FUCKIS THAT GUY?

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CANCĂșN."

THEN ONE DAY,ALL YOUR SHIT'S JUST GONE.

IT'S JUST GONE.I USED TO HAVE STUFF, THINGS.

THEY WEREN'T NICE THINGS,BUT THEY WERE MY THINGS.

I HAD A NIKE SWOOSH IN A FRAME.

YEAH.I WAS LIKE, "OH, SHIT.

"LOOK ATTHAT DOPE-ASS NIKE SWOOSH!

FRAME THAT SHIT. UNH!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS BLACKFOR TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE.

I DON'T KNOWWHAT TO TELL YOU GUYS.

IT WAS AN ERA OF BLACKNESS.

CAME HOME ONE DAY,ALL OF IT WAS GONE --

JUST GONE --

REPLACED WITH WICKER HEARTSAND SCONCES WITH CANDLES.

REMEMBER SCONCES?YEAH, SCONCES HOLD CANDLES.

I HAD 48 CANDLESIN A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT.

I HAD NO IDEA WHY.

I WAS LIKE,"LOOK AT THIS, SWEETHEART.

"THIS IS CALLED A LIGHT SWITCH.

"I PAY THE UTILITY BILLEVERY MONTH.

WE DON'T NEEDTHE CATHEDRAL HERE, OKAY?"

BUT SHE WENT TO BED EARLY,

AND IT WAS MY JOBTO PUT THEM OUT.

I WAS LIKE AN ALTAR BOYAT THE END OF THE NIGHT,

PUTTING OUT ALL THE CANDLES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I USED TO HAVE ONE PILLOWON MY BED -- ONE.

YEAH, IT HAD BROWN STAINS ON IT,

AND I FOLDED IT FOUR TIMES,AND I PUT IT BEHIND MY HEAD.

BUT I MISS IT. I DO.

YOU KNOW WHY?I HAVE 14 PILLOWS ON MY BED.

14. NO HUMAN BEINGNEEDS 14 PILLOWS TO SLEEP.

I GOOGLED THAT SHIT.

PARAPLEGICSNEED THREE AT THE MOST.

YES.