Matteo Lane - People Are Stupid

The Seance Season 2, Ep 3 09/19/2014 Views: 7,023

Matteo Lane reenacts coming out to his father and explains how a Starbucks employee butchered his name. (1:45)

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- [singing opera]

[laughter and applause]

- OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS,THAT IS A TRUE STORY,

OF HOW I CAME OUT TO MY DAD.

[laughter]

IT WAS A VERY SHORTCONVERSATION, YOU KNOW? [laughs]

WE'RE ITALIAN.UH, YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE,GENERALLY, PEOPLE DON'T KNOW

HOW TO TALK TO GAY PEOPLE.

LIKE, I WORK WITH THIS WOMAN,

AND I FEEL LIKE,NO MATTER WHAT I DO,

SHE SOMEHOW HAS TOMAKE IT ABOUT

ME BEING GAY,NO MATTER WHAT I DO.

LIKE, I WAS GETTING COFFEE,AND SHE WAS LIKE,

"THAT'S FUNNY, YOU EVEN STANDIN A GAY WAY."

WELL THEN YOU STANDLIKE A [bleep], PATTY.

[laughter]

I MEAN, IN HER DEFENSE,I WAS WEARING A BOA, SO...

IT'S KINDA GAY.

BUT I DO FEEL LIKEPEOPLE ARE STUPID, RIGHT?

- YEAH!- [laughs] EVERYONE...YES!

LIKE,I GO INTO STARBUCKS SOMETIMES,

IF THEY'RE REALLY BUSY,THEY'LL ASK FOR YOUR NAME,

TO PUT ITON THE BACK OF THE CUP.

SO I WALK IN,SHE ASKS FOR MY NAME,

I SAY "MATTEO,"

SHE TURNS AROUND,MAKES MY DRINK,

SHE COMES BACK...

IT SAYS "POTATO."[laughter]

GUYS...

SHE THOUGHT...

THAT I CONFIDENTLY TOLD HER,

"I'D LIKEA GRANDE AMERICANA, PLEASE.

POTATO.

WITH A 'P.'

IT'S A BUNCH OF IDIOTSWHO WORK HERE."

[laughs]

I AM TRYING ONLINE DATING,WHICH, I FEEL LIKE