for the first time.
And it's a beautifulcountry.
Amazing beaches,fantastic weather,
Everything you needin a land.
The only problem is that,as a British person,
you are forced to confrontthe idiocy of your ancestors.
Because you might notbe aware,
but Australia was a Britishprison colony.
It's where we sentour criminals.
Think through the logicof what I'm telling you.
We sent our criminalsto somewhere
that was nicerthan where we lived.
When clearly what we should havedone is built huge fences
around Britain and said,"You all stay here.
Just imagine how confused thatfirst convict must have been
as he stepped offthat prison ship
onto the beautifulsandy beach,
looked up at the glorioussunshine,
saw a [BLEEP] koala,
and thought,"This must be a joke.
We are all going to getshot in the head right now."
Because if this is real,
no one is this[BLEEP] stupid.
As a criminal, I've just learnedthe opposite of my lesson.