The real reasonI hate couples is that
me and my lady just broke up,so, you know...(sympathetic moans)
No, don't "aww..." It wasn'ta bad breakup.
We was at different pointsin our life,
you know.It was time to move on.
There was a littleage difference.
You know. She was, um...
19, I'm (mumbles).
Oh (bleep), y'all, it was love.Don't judge me.
We was just at different points.
I'm at the point in my life
where I want to sit at home,watch Law and Order,
do some grownup-folk stuff,you know what I'm talking about?
You know, and she wantedto hang out with her friends,
party every night,stay out till 2:00, 3:00, 4:00,
getting drunk, come home, try towake me up out of good sleep
trying to have sex.
And I knew it wastime to break up
when I was getting madabout getting laid.
That's when a relationshipis over, you know.
She's out in the clubpartying with the girls.
I'm at home in the bedwaiting on her like,
"Watch her come backand try and touch me.
"I'm gonna cuss her ass out.
"I'm sick of this (bleep).
"You ain't gonna keep using me.
I am somebody, (bleep) damn it.I'm not gonna wait no..."
That's why, I hear the truck
pull up, I knowshe coming home.
I'll be like this--"Shh-shh. Watch this.
"I'm gonna act like I'm asleep.
"You better nottouch me either.
"Watch this. Watch this.
Here she comes. Shh-shh-shh."
That's it. She justcome in the room drunk
walk right by me,don't even touch me,
just get into bed.That's when I get confused
and mad and be like,"Where the (bleep) was you at
"that you don't wannatouch nobody?
You cheating on me?"
Man, I'm sleepy, man,
I ain't gettingno sleep. I'm tired.
I can't be up herelong, you know.
Gotta get some... I gotta getsome sleep, you know,
'cause you all knowsleep is important,
especially when we start gettinga little older, you know.
You know sleep is importantwhen you start talking
to your friendsabout it like it's sex.
It'll be Sunday morning.
Your friend's like,"Man, what you do last night?"
You be like, "Man, I gotsome sleep last night."
"Man, I tore that bed up.
"I slept in every position.
"I slept so good
"my bed called me at work today.
"Talking about,'Come home, take a nap.'"
Thank you very much, Gotham.
I'm out of here.
♪ (cheering, applause)