John Oliver - Nearly a Life-Changing Experience

Joe Mande, Jamie Lee, W. Kamau Bell Season 4, Ep 8 09/13/2013 Views: 32,235

During a trip to Australia, John Oliver begins to believe that he could be a sheep farmer, but an actual shepherd disagrees. (1:50)

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in Australia, though.

I was on a sheep farmat one point,

and-- And the farmer,he said to me--

One evening he said,

"Do you want to help meget the sheep in?"

And I said, "Yes, yes,I would love to help you

get the sheep in.

That is something I wouldvery much enjoy."

So we did it together.

The sun was going down.

There was a golden gloweverywhere,

and the sheepwere kicking up dust,

making it feeleven more magical.

And I was gettingthe sheep in

to where they weresupposed to go.

And I thought,I could do this.

I could be a sheep farmer.

I could be happydoing this.

And then I went back overto the farmer once I was done,

and I said, "Did I do all right,Jack? Did I do all right?

Tell me how well I didwith the sheep, Jack."

And he was a big man.

He was handsomeand charismatic.

He had a craggy,lived-in, dusty face.

In a good way.I mean that as a compliment.

I realize it soundedgrotesque.

He was big. Every time he puthis arm around me,

I felt small and safe.

And I said to him,"How did I do with the sheep?"

And he looked at mewith kindness in his eyes.

And he said, "You were less goodthan the dog."

And that's not the answer I waslooking for in that moment.

To be honest,that's not the answer

that anyoneis looking for.

No one wants to be comparedunfavorably with a dog

unless the categorythey're being compared in

is eating out of a bowlor [BLEEP] in the street.

Those are the only twocategories

where you give the dogthe W.

They were favoritegoing into that contest.