Richard Lewis - Cable Television

Jim Morris & Sue Kolinsky Season 1, Ep 22 02/24/1992 Views: 255

Cable is where television is at right now. (1:32)

BUT MY MOTHER, YOU KNOW

SHE MISSES THAT I'M NOTON A SITCOM ANYMORE

BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

SHE DIDN'T EVEN WATCH ME

BECAUSE SHE HAS THIS SETTHAT MY DAD GOT HER IN '49.

IT'S ABOUT EIGHT INCHES BY THREE

AND I SAW BEN HURONCE AT HER HOUSE

AND BEN HUR WAS RACINGAGAINST HIMSELF

BECAUSE THE OTHER GUY WASIN ANOTHER APARTMENT.

( laughter )

BUT COME ON, CABLE'SWHERE IT'S AT RIGHT NOW.

REGULAR TELEVISION IS...

LOOK, AND TV GUIDE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME

BUT THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE--

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, "WHAT LASSIEIS," THREE LETTERS.

GIVE ME A BREAK.

THEN THEY HAVE--IT'S NOT JUST TV GUIDE

THEY HAVE THESEIN GROCERY STORES.

YOU GET LIKEWHAT'S ON THIS WEEK.

I THINK THEY CALL ITTHE LOGS OF WHAT THE SHOW IS.

THAT'S WHAT THEYCALL TECHNICALLY

"HEY, WELCOME TO HUNTER COLLEGE,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN."

I ONCE SAW A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE.

IT WAS THE WORST EVER.

IT WAS "A SURPRISE VISITFROM HIS SISTER-IN-LAW

THROWS OFF STANLEY'SBOWLING GAME."

HEY, LET'S WATCHTHAT CLASSIC, COME ON.

( laughter )

MY MOTHER WANTS ME TO STAYON TV AND SHE IDOLIZES OPRAH.

FINE, I LIKE OPRAH, BUT, YOUKNOW, EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT IT

BUT I SAW HER SHOW LAST WEEK"JEWS WHO DON'T COMPLAIN."

THAT'S WHEN I FELT...

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.