The argument over gunsin America
always seemsto make its way back
to the meaningof the Second Amendment.
Here with her perspective is ourin-house Constitutional scholar,
Michelle Wolf, everybody.
-Hello, Michelle.-Hello, Trevor.
Great job saying"Constitutional".
-I try. I try.-You really nailed it.
-Thank you very much. -And youlook very pretty tonight.
Oh, thank you very much.
Okay, Trevor, I'm not here totalk about your beauty regimen.
I'm here to talk aboutthe Second Amendment.
So let's look at what it says.
"A well regulated militia--comma--
"being necessary to the securityof a free state-- comma--
"the right of people to keepand bear arms-- comma--
shall not be infringed--period."
So, uh, asa Constitutional scholar,
would you give usyour analysis of this passage?
Well, in myprofessional opinion,
It's a (bleep),poorly-worded amendment.
It's one long sentencethat never ends,
where the sequence of wordsis all wrong,
resulting in a confusingstructure--
comma-- with terriblepunctuation
-that's hard to interpret...-Well, that makes...
Ah... I'm not finished.
Are you gonna talk or are youjust gonna sit there
-like a mannequin at JCPenney?-Well, I wasn't...
I wasn't sure if you were done.
The Founding Fathers (bleep) upthe Second Amendment.
What arms are weallowed to bear?
Do we only get gunsif we're in a militia?
What's a militia?
It sounds like somethingyou name your fourth daughter
when we've run outof other names.
Hi, I'm Militia.
And by the way,if she's your fourth daughter,
she's not gonna bethat well-regulated.
She's a fake person.
So I don't knowwhat happened with the people
who wrote the Second Amendment.Maybe they were so excited
about finally finishingthe First Amendment--
which they knockedout of the park, by the way--
or maybe they couldn't waitto run home
and have some slave sex.
Oh, don't boo the slaves.
They've had it hard enough.
It's a bad amendment.
Look, uh, Michelle, I-I don'tthink I would disagree,
but these arethe Founding Fathers.
Oh, like we alllike our fathers.
Sure, they did some great stuff,
but they had justbroken up with England.
Have you evermade a good decision
right after a bad breakup?
No. That's the time in your life
when you sleep with the guythat has one leg and a bird
and you didn't even know hisname, so when you tell the story
to your friends,you call him pirate.
That sounds really specific.Did that happen to you?
My points is,we all make mistakes.
Like the Founding Fatherswith the Second Amendment.
-And you with the pirates.-Oh, no.
Best sex I ever had.
-(laughter)-The bird wash and everything.
I don't think it shouldbe impossible to get a gun,
but I do thinkit should be at least as hard
as interpreting one sentencewritten by a guy
who lived so long ago he had touse a turkey feather as a pen.
Now, Trevor, everyone agreesthat there are people
that shouldn't get guns--terrorists, criminals,
me after a box of wine.
So me every night.
Now go to commercial, becauseI have a box of wine to get to.
Oh, I guess we'll do that.Michelle Wolf, everyone!