Jeff & Some Aliens - Space-cation!

Deuce Ex Machina Season 2, Ep 17 08/02/2016 Views: 1,865

Jeff learns the hard way that wild alien sex has consequences. (4:10)

- ♪ Three aliens came from the sky ♪

♪ The galactic council sent them ♪

all: ♪ And here'sthe reason why ♪

- ♪ Their mission is to study

♪ Earth's most average guy

all: ♪ See if humansare worth saving ♪

♪ Or if everyone has to die

- Wait, what?

[sighs]

[lively music on TV]Hmm?

- Come to Jamaica.

Surround yourself with just beautiful creatures.

[insects buzzing]

Yeah, mon. Spend your days with beautiful people.

- Direct hit.- Ah, sick!

- Ugh.

- And when you're done snorkeling,

you can go hike through an old growth forest.

- When you're done mopping...- Huh?

- You can clean out these old,weird growths out of the toilet.

- [groans]

[dogs barking]

[groans]

I wish there's just some wayto get away from it all

but still be back here tomorrowfor work.

I mean,I guess I could just get high.

- Wait a second.I got an idea!

[computer beeping]

- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

- Since our planet isso close to a black hole,

a whole week of vacation there

is only two secondsback on Earth.

- [laughs]Why haven't we done this yet?

Wow. [tranquil music]

- Oh, my God!

It's Jeff, the human!

[all scream]

- You guys know who I am?

- I watch your feed, like,every single night.

- Your boss is such a dick.

- [laughs]Oh, well--

Well, thank you very much.

- Can we take a pictoscan?

- Sure, okay!

Duck face!

[techno music playing]

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.Yes!

all: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!Jeff! Jeff!

- [moaning]

- Wow.

[buzzer]I don't know. [laughs]

[all moaning]

Ah.

Yeah!

[reggae music]

- Oh![laughs]

This is exactly what I needed.

- Hey, Jeff,that girl's looking at you.

Is, uh--is that the oneyou hooked up with last night?

- [groaning]

- [laughs]Come on, guys.

The chick last nightwas a perfect ten.

She had a bangin' body,short blonde hair,

and she did this movewith her tongue piercing--

Oh, my God. [laughs]- Jeff!

- Oh!- Um, we need to talk.

- Dude, did you use a condom?

- Of course.

- Okay, good, good, good.

A space condom, right?

- What the hell is that?- [screams]

- Oh, my God!

No, I can't handlethis kind of responsibility!

- [screams]- [gasps]

[all crying]- You're going to help me

take care of our children,right, Jeff?

- Uh...

- Not before he takes careof our children!

- Oh, my God!

- Welcome to the family, son.

- Huh?

- Now, you listen to me,you little turd.

- [gasps]

- You're gonna come work for me

until you've put these kidsthrough college.

- College?

- Or I'm gonna zap

that irresponsible,raw-dogging dick of yours

right off your body.

- [laughs]- Good news!

He's gonna jointhe family business.

- [chuckles]What's the family business?

all: ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

- [grunting]

Psst, hey, quick question.

Um, what age do most peoplego to college on this planet?

[screams]- No talking!

all: ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - [sighs]

- Get your feet off of that,okay?

- All right, all right!

- God damn it, Jeff!We already talked about this!

- Get those feetoff of that table!

- Stop it!Stop yelling at me!

all: ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - [sighs]

[screams]- No sighing!

all: ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

- [quivers, then screams]- No quivering!

- No excessive whipping!

[classical music playing][applause]

- Yes!

Hey, let's getthe [bleep] out of here.

[computer beeping]

- [groaning][door opens]

Oh, there you are, Jeff.

We got a lot of work to do.

The freezer malfunctionedlast night.

There's black mold everywhere--

Jesus Christ!What happened to you?

- I was, uh, on vacation.