(Bobcat Goldthwait)THERE'S A GUYIN THE PAPER...
HE GOT EATEN BYA POLAR BEAR.
HE WAS IN THECENTRAL PARK ZOO,
AND HE HAD BEEN HARASSINGTHE POLAR BEAR,
IT SAID IN THE NEWSPAPER,FOR THREE DAYS...
CLIMBED OVER THE WALL,GOT EATEN IN 45 SECONDS.
I'D BE LYIN' IF I DIDN'TTELL YA I LAUGHED WHENI READ THAT ARTICLE,
AND I'M NOT TRYIN'TO BE RACIST,
BUT, LOOK IT, HE DIDHAVE A LATINO NAME,
AND THEY SAID HE'D BEENHARASSING THE POLAR BEAR.
LIKE, WAS THIS GUYSHOWING UP OUTSIDE THEPOLAR BEAR CAGE LIKE...
(Bobcat using Latino accent)"HELLO, HELLO, POLAR BEAR,OH, I SEE YOU POLAR BEAR.
"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCHBETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
"YOU AIN'T (beep),POLAR BEAR.
"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCHBETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE
"'CAUSE YOU'RE ON THECOCA-COLA COMMERCIAL?
"I'LL (beep) YOU UP, BITCH.
"YOU NOT A POLAR BEAR, YAKNOW, YOU A PUNTA BEAR.
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE,YOU A PUNTA BEAR."
(Bobcat in normal voice)THIS CRAZY (beep) ISHARASSING A BEAR.
HOW DO YOU HARASS A BEAR?
IT WASN'T LIKE THE BEARWAS ON THE OTHER SIDEOF THE GLASS GOING,
"IF THAT (beep) GUY COMESBACK ONE MORE TIME.
"I AM MIFFED.
M-I-F-F-E-D, MIFFED!"
(Bobcat in normal voice)AND THENHE CLIMBS UP...
(Bobcat in accent)"THIS IS GO TIME,IT'S GO TIME.
"IT'S GO TIME, BITCH.
"YOU TAKE OFF THAT WHITECOAT OR I'M GONNA(beep) IT UP, TOO.
I'LL (beep) UP THATWHITE COAT, BITCH."
(Bobcat in normal voice)CLIMBED OVER THEWALL, 45 SECONDS...
AND WE WOULD ALLPAY TO SEE THAT
IF WE COULD SEE THAT TAPE.