I took off the Andy Dick Costume
and I got more comfortable.
My real true nameis Andy Kock.
That's Kock with a K.
It's actually a combinationof two names,
Kirk and Spock.
I broughta little something
that just mightshed some light.
The actual Captain's Log.
"I was just exitingthe shower tonight
"when Spockentered my quarters.
"He stared at me hungrily.
"Like Lieutenant Uhuraeyeing a plate of ribs."
"I said, 'Spock!
'Why aren't you...manning... your post?'"
That's the bestI can do.
"'Captain, when wasthe last time
you had yourb---hole vulcanized?'"
"He mounted me.
"Boldly going where only...
a few guys back in collegehad gone before."
"For a beingwith no emotions,
"his meat hammersure seemed to be
angry with my butt."
"Spock did give me the reach around.
Or as he called it,the Vulcan taint pinch."
"Then he fired offhis photon torpedoes
deep inside my worm hole."
Ladies and gentlemen,
guest of honor...
I am the illegitimatebutt baby
of Kirk and Spock.
Even thoughyou abandoned me,
I...I love you.
And congratulationson your big night.