Roast Battle II - Olivia Grace vs. Todd Barry

Roast Battle II: Night Three - Uncensored Season 2, Ep 7 01/28/2017 Views: 3,944

Olivia Grace graphically describes how creepy she finds Todd Barry, and he suggests that she should rename her website. (7:03)

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[bell dinging]

[cheers and applause]

- Todd's so creepy,

I pepper sprayed himin the parking lot

and he cummed his pants.

[laughter]

- That was good, Olivia.

I hope you put a starnext to that one

in your Hello Kitty notebook.

[laughter]

I didn't know much about Olivia,so I went to her website,

which is calledOliviaisfunny.com.

[scattered laughter]I know.

[laughter]

If she can call her websiteOliviaisfunny.com,

I can call mine,

Todd-is-really-tall-and-has-a-full-head-of-hair-dot-com.

[laughter]

- Todd is part Syrian,

and Americans react to Todd

the way they reactto most Syrians.

By turning off the television.

[laughter]

- All right.

[laughter and applause]

[cash register dinging]

- You got me,I've been on television.

[laughter]

[whistling]

[bomb explodes, rumbles]

But you're quite busy yourself

with that gruelingroad tour you do.

God.

I mean, she will perform

at laundry-matsfrom West Hollywood...

[laughter]

All the way to North Hollywood.

[laughter and applause]

[laughter]

- Yeah!

- Todd looks like he watches"The Human Centipede"

from a technical standpoint.

[laughter]

[metal scrapes]

[eerie conspiratorial music] - Ah!

[metal scrapes]

- I don't know.

- [laughing]

- You know,when I first saw Olivia,

I thought, "Wow,that could be my daughter."

Then I saw a clipof her stand-up and I said,

"Oh, my daughterwould have better jokes."

[laughter]

[bomb explodes, rumbles]

[laughter and applause]

- Last joke.

- I've called Todd creepya lot tonight,

uh, but the truth is,he's just like everybody else.

He puts his girlfriend' skin onone leg at a time.

[laughter]

[alarm blaring]

[laughter and applause]

- Olivia, I-I wanna endon a positive note

and congratulate you on

the acting role you just bookedin the upcoming movie:

"The Girl Who Looks Like EveryGirl Arrested for Shoplifting

at Urban Outfitters."

[laughter]

[bell dinging]

[cheers and applause]

- Keep it going.Todd Barry.

Olivia Grace.

This is a close one.

[cheers and applause]

This is a close one.

[cheers and applause]

What'd you think--- Hats off to,

uh, Olivia and Todd, everybody.

That was really fun to watch.- Yeah.

- Yeah, two peoplewho couldn't be more different.

It's like they catfishedeach other

and had to go to "Roast Battle."

[laughter]

First impressions, John Mayer?

- First of all, one more timefor both these contestants.

That was a master class

in roasting.

Rare is the athlete

that you enjoy watchingperform defense.

Todd Barry, an unbelievabledefensive athlete

in that last battle.That was unbelievable.

[cheers and applause]

Olivia, you used "cummed"

in the past tense.

Like, like, I've never hearda grandmother say it,

but I imagine if they did,they'd say,

"Did you cummed your pants?"

And I just thoughtit was so folksy.

Sarah Palin would say "cummed,"past tense.

It was beautiful,

but you--you kno--"The Human Centipede,"

that's all-star level stuff.- Thank you.

- I-I just by and edge,I have to give it to you.

It was beautiful.Olivia.

- Olivia.- By--by an edge.

By and edge, I'm sorry.- Thank you.

both: By and edge.- Edging.

- This is brutal.I mean, you guys both,

your joke structure--

I mean, the choice of wordwith "cummed" is,

you know,it really is brilliant.

- I don't think it's worthboth of you mentioning it.

- I'm sorry.I can't help it, Todd.

- It was not that good.It was not that good.

- Todd--Todd's comebacks.

Todd, he got more bangfor his buck

because he w--had a reaction joke,

and then the joke,and then, like, a comeback joke.

Olivia,I've been watching you do this

since you were 19.You blow my brains out.

Your an amazing joke writer.

You know,uh, it has nothing to do

with your talentand your everything,

it's just frosting on the cakethat you're beautiful.

You're so the real deal,

and Todd, you're one ofmy oldest and best friends.

Uh, you would listento my heartbreak,

I would shave your neck.

I'm gonna give it to Todd.

[laughter and applause]

- That was worth it.[laughs]

- Thank you, Sarah.See you back at the house.

- Jeff, we're tied up.

Do we go to overtime?- Amazing.

I love how you both killedin first gear.

It was like the tortoiseversus the hairless.

[laughter]

- That's--way to shut downthe room.

[laughter]

- Olivia, is Todd Syrian?Did you make that up?

- No, we had an emailback and forth thing yesterday.

[laughs]I--

- She emailed me, she said,"Are you Syrian?"

I said, "Yes."

[laughter]

- Todd, are you Syrian?

- I'm 1/4 Syrian.Yes, ma'am.

- Putting his girlfriends--or the skin on one leg--

Olivia, you'rea home run hitter.

- Thank you.- Todd, you were so--

I've just never seen yoube self-deprecating before

until tonight, so you reallyswitched this whole thing up.

She's a tough target, and you--- She was.

- Yeah, and you foundsome really great angles.

You're comebacks were on fire.

The "Laundromats" joke.Holy shit, I was dying.

Olivia, I begged youto be in this tournament

because you have

some of the best jokesin "Roast Battle."

You're a home run hitter.You're 21 years old.

You're getting better,but I think to win,

you would have hadto knock this guy out,

He's on a roll.

Todd Barry,I'm gonna give this to you.

Congratulations.

[cheers and applause]

- Everybody, Todd Barry!

[hip-hop music]