Greg Fitzsimmons - Los Angeles

  • Season 10 , Ep 8
  • 03/16/2006
  • Views: 2,312

Greg pities his son's fate growing up in Los Angeles. (1:08)

AND THAT'S A WEIRD CITY.L.A. IS JUST--

ALL THE WOMEN HAVEFAKE BREASTS, FAKE LIPS.

MEN HAVE PENIS IMPLANTS. AND ALL I CAN PICTURE IS LIKE

IN A 1,000 YEARS WHEN ARCHAEOLOGISTS ARE DIGGING UP

WHAT WAS LOS ANGELES,EVERYTHING WILL HAVE DECOMPOSED

EXCEPT FOR THE LIPSAND THE BREASTS AND THE PENIS'.

AND THEY'RE GONNA BE GOING, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS PLACE?

WAS IT A BIG SEX TOY SHOP ON THE BEACH OR SOMETHING?

AND THEY HAD A LIPRIGHT NEXT TO A [BLEEP].

- BET THEY KNEW EACH OTHER. - [LAUGHTER]

THEY JUST TESTED THETAP WATER IN LOS ANGELES

AND THEY FOUND TRACES OF ESTROGEN AND ANTI-DEPRESSANTS.

IT'S NICE TO KNOW THATMY SON IS GONNA GROW UP

AND SOMEDAY HAVE HUGE BREASTS

BUT IT'S NOT REALLY GONNA BOTHER 'EM THAT MUCH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

VENICE BEACH IS GREAT 'CAUSETHAT'S WHERE ALL THE FREAKS ARE.

LIKE I SAW THIS GUY ON A SKATE BOARD, NO LEGS, PULLING HIMSELF ALONG.

NO, REALLY, IT MAKES YOU THINK.THAT IS A DANGEROUS SPORT.

AND I LIKE WALKING AROUND WITH MY KIDS

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