Today... today isMartin Luther King Jr. Day.
I don't thinkI could say anything
that would live up to his legacyin any way.
But he was courageous anduncompromising, and I think,
above all,he believed in justice,
and I believewe should all strive for that.
And if you haven't readhis words or watch him speak,
do yourself a favorand do that today.
They're as powerfulas they ever were.
Tributes have been all oversocial media,
like this tweet honoring Kingand his, quote,
"incredible careerfighting for civil rights,"
using an excerpt from King'sletter from a Birmingham jail,
"Injustice anywhere is a threatto justice everywhere."
That's a wonderful quote.
I wonder who tweeted that.
-Oh, it was the FBI. The FBI.-(laughter)
-This is the same FBI whospent... -(applause & cheering)
Same FBI who spent years
spying on himand blackmailing MLK
'cause their director and
constipated bullfrog in aminiskirt J. Edgar Hoover...
...called King, quote, "The mostnotorious liar in the country."
The only thing that would becrazier-- if Mel Gibson tweeted,
-"Happy Hanukkah, sugar tits."-(laughter)
-(applause and cheering)-So, comedians...
in light of this MLK tweetfrom the FBI,
what's another surprise reversaltweet the FBI might send out?
"Hey, Anthony Weiner--cool dong, dude."
-Points. Cool dong.-It's a pretty cool dong.
Not just "cool dong."Just, "Cool dong, dude."
-Dude.-(laughter) -Eugene Mirman.
Hey, Vladimir Putin,where do you want us
-to drop off your laundry?"-HARDWICK: All right, points.
-(laughter, applause)-Josie Long.
Just, "Hey, Stanley Kubrick,
you did such a great jobfaking the moon landings."
And then, hashtag, "Jet fuel canmelt steel beams." That's all.
-(laughter) -HARDWICK:All right. All right. Points.