I just went home tovisit my parents.
I don't know if anybodyfeels like this, but
when I go home, I'm okay,for maybe six minutes
and then, I just feelweirdly furious.
And then, I feel guilty
about the wild levelof hostility that I'm feeling.
I was talking to my friendabout this, I'm like,
"Do you ever get like thatwhen you go home?"
And he goes, "Oh, yeah."
He goes,"Do you know what I realized?
"I realized, if my momwasn't my mom,
I don't even thinkI'd be friends with her."
I'm like,"Really, that was
your big realization?"
I'm like, "Obviously,that'd be very weird,
"if you just had thisintense relationship
with some middle-aged,diabetic woman in Pennsylvania."
You would just go fly and seeher on the weekends sometimes.
And she would bother youabout getting health insurance.
And you'd be like,
"Well, uh...this was great Sharon. Um...
"let's do it againin about five months;
"that's whatI'm comfortable with.
"And, uh, next timewhen you're feeding me
"and I've told you repeatedlythat I'm full,
I'm gonna ask you to startrespecting that, Sharon."
My mom's just,really embarrassing.
Hew newest thingshe's doing is...
well, she likes totalk to every stranger.
She just likes tosort of stop people
and have these kind of,sassy moments with them.
They're not havingthe moments with her, uh...
...they're oftenlistening to her
with this sort of a stance.
Like, we were outat this Latin restaurant.
I felt so bad for the guy,because, I was like,
"He has no idea,what's about to happen to him
Like, my mom likes to kind of,she likes to let people know
that she's just, she's kind of
down with everything,you know? So...
He comes over to our table,
he says something so reasonable.I was like,
"He has no ideawhat's about to happen."
He just told her, they were,they were very slammed
and that, and thathe needed a moment.
Here's my mother'sunacceptable
response to that, she goes,
(Midwestern accent):"Oh, please, take your time!
I lived in Californiain the 1960s."
I'm like, "What the (bleep)does that mean?
What in God's namejust happened?"
She will not stop doing that"California thing" to people;
I've begged her.
No one knows what to do withthat. They just...
It's so genuinely confusingfor people.