MeTunes - Grammy Vote - Dan Auerbach, Patrick Carney & Ezra Koenig

January 11, 2011 - Chris Hughes 01/11/2011 Views: 290,118

Members of the Black Keys and Vampire Weekend fight for Stephen's Grammy vote for Best Alternative Music Album. (9:43)

OH, THEY'RE SO TENDER.

FOLK, I DON'T LIKE THE BOAST

ABOUT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, NOT

WITHOUT MY MEGAPHONE.

I WON A GRAMMY LAST YEAR FOR MY

ALBUM "COLBERT CHRISTMAS."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

IF THEY DIDN'T WANT YOU TO USE A

MEGAPHONE, THEY WOULDN'T SHAPE

IT LIKE ONE.

OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A

.-OF-BENEFITS TO WINNING MUSIC'S

HIGHEST HONOR.

FOR ONE, AT ANY TIME I CAN JUST

PRESS THIS RED BUTTON ON THE

BACK AND INSTANTLY SUMMON ONE

PLAQUE-EYED PEA.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE RANDOM BUT

FOR SOME REASON I KEEP GETTING

APPLE DIAP.

TOTAL RIPOFF.

NOW, MOST IMPORTANTLY, AS A

WINNER OF A GRAMMY, I GET TO

VOTE FOR THIS YEAR'S GRAMMY.

AND I'M GOING TO FILL OUT MY

BALLOT RIGHT NOW.

THIS IS "ME TUNES]

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

OKAY.

GOT THE ACTUAL PHYSICAL GRAMMY

BALLOT.

IT HAS TO BE POSTMARKED TONIGHT.

FOLKS, HERE WE GO.

NOW, FOR THE RECORD I HAVE NEVER

LIKED MUSIC.

( LAUGHTER )

IT'S JUST ORGANIZED SOUND.

AS TAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THAT

MAKES IT A UNION.

NO THANKS.

BUT I DO LOVE BEING A KING

MAKER, AND HOWEVER I VOTE

TONIGHT WILL INFLUENCE EVERY

GRAMMY VOTER WATCHING.

SO START WITH THE BEST NEW

ARTIST.

THIS CATEGORY IS A CAREER MAKER.

YOU WIN THE BEST NEW ARTIST

DWRMY, PEOPLE REMEMBER YOUR NAME

FOREVER, JUST ASK TASTE OF HONEY

AND, OF COURSE, THE STAR LAND

VOCAL BAND, WHO WON FOR

"AFTERNOON DELIGHT."

I BELIEVE THEIR SONG ABOUT

SCREWING ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK IS

JUST AS RELEVANT TODAY AS IT WAS

IN 1976.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HERE ARE THIS YEAR'S NOMINEES,

WHOSE FORTUNES REST IN MY HANDS.

FIRST UP THERE IS DRAKE.

WE WERE BOTH GQ MEN OF THE YEAR,

WHICH MEANS WE DIVIDE THE

GENTLEMANLY RESPONSIBILITY.

I SMELL GOOD, HE WEARS

FLAT-FRONT PANTS.

NEXT THERE'S FLORENCE AND THE

MACHINE.

I'M A FAN OF ALL FLORENCES, BOTH

THE CITY AND THE HENDERSON.

THEN THERE'S NEW COMINGER

ESSPRAWN DISA SPAULDING, WHO I

BELIEVE PLAYS CATCHER FOR THE

PHILLIES.

AND WE'VE ALSO GOT MUMFORD AND

SONS.

GREAT SHOW.

WE MISS YOU, RED SOX.

AN LAST BUT NOT LEAST, OH, MY

GOD, IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER.

JUSTIN!

OH, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU.

EVER SINCE WE MET ON THE RED

CARPET AT LAST YEAR'S GRAMMYS.

IT WAS AMAZING.

I TOUCHED JUSTIN BIEBER.

ACTUALLY, JIMMY, IT'S VERY

IMPORTANT THAT WE EDIT OUT ME

SAYING "I TOUCHED JUSTIN

BIEBER," AND I NEED TO KNOW... I

NEED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE'S

GOING TO EDIT THAT OUT.

THAT IS A CAREER ENDER.

YOU ON THAT?

OKAY, GOOD.

ANYWAY, BIEBER IT IS.

YOU OWE ME, JUSTIN.

JUST BRUSH YOUR HAIR IN MY

DIRECTION.

( LAUGHTER )

YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL JUST

ANSWER THE REST OF THESE

RANDOMLY AND JUMP TO MY FAVORITE

CATEGORY, BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC

ALBUM.

NOW, FOR THE SQUARES OUT THERE,

ALTERNATIVE REFERS TO THE

UNDER-THE-RADAR INDEPENDENT

MUSIC THAT EDGY,

ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT TYPES CAN BUY

AT STARBUCKS.

( LAUGHTER )

AND THE NOMINEES ARE: ARCADE

FIRE.

THOSE GUYS WENT "THE DAILY

SHOW."

[BLEEPED] 'EM.

NEXT, BAND OF HORSES.

SORRY, I PREFER A BAND OF

HUMANS.

NEXT, BROKEN BELL.

I DON'T THINK SO.

GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU FIX YOUR

BELLS.

THAT LEAVES ONLY TWO OPTION,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, VAMPIRE

WEEKEND AND THE BLACK PEAS.

MAN, THEY ARE BOTH SO FOOD.

I CANNOT DECIDE.

I NEED TO CALL IN THE EXPERTS

HERE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

WELCOME LEADING SCHOLARS ON THE

BLACK PEAS, PATRICK CARNEY AND

DAN AUERBACH, THE BLACK PEAS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

DAN, PATRICK.

AND NOTED VAMPIRE WEEKEND

AFICIONADO, EZRA CANNING FROM

VAMPIRE WEEKEND.

EZRA, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

EZRA, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> GREAT TO BE BACK.

>> AND DAN, PATRICK, THANK YOU

SO MUCH FOR HELPING OUT TONIGHT.

>> IT'S OUR PRESSURE.

>> Stephen: GREAT.

FELLAS, LET'S GET TO IT.

YOU BOTH HAVE GREAT ALBUM, BUT

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

IT USED TO BE EASY TO FIGURE OUT

THE BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

IT WAS THE ONE THAT SOLD THE

MOST.

SORRY, SERGEANT PEPPER, BUT THE

BEST ALBUM OF 1967 WAS "MORE OF

THE MONKEYS."

THAT'S JUST MATH.

BUT THESE DAYS NOBODY PAYS FOR

MUSIC ANYMORE.

IT'S GONE THE WAY OR

PORNOGRAPHY.

AND REMEMBER, REMEMBER, THIS IS

THE ALTERNATIVE CATEGORY.

SO THE ONLY WAY TO DETERMINE

WHICH ALTERNATIVE BAND HAS THE

MOST EDGY, NON-COMMERCIAL APPEAL

IS WHICH ONE GOT THEIR SONGS IN

MORE COMMERCIALS.

EZRA, EZRA, DO YOU UNDERSTAND

THE RULES?

>> ARE WE BEING CHALLENGED TO A

SELL-OUT?

>> Stephen: YES.

BLACK PEAS, DO YOU ACCEPT THE

CHALLENGE?

>> WE DO.

>> Stephen: THEN GENTLEMEN,

LEAVE YOUR SOULS AT THE DOOR AND

LET'S THROW DOWN.

FIRST UP, BLACK PEAS.

>> WE OPEN WITH OUR SONG IN A

ZALE'S COMMERCIAL.

♪ ON MY MIND ♪♪

>> Stephen: THAT IS A GOOD

ONE.

THAT WAS A REALLY GOOD ONE.

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT SONG?

>> THAT SONG IS "THE GIRL IS ON

MY MIND."

>> Stephen: NOW THAT PRODUCT

IS ON MY MIND.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND?

>> WELL PLAYED.

I SEE YOUR ZAL E'S AND RAISE

YOUR HONDA.

♪ HOLIDAY ♪♪

>> Stephen: THAT IS GREAT.

I HAVE GOT TO ASK, EZRA, AS AN

ARTIST, IS HONDA WHAT YOU HAD IN

MIND WHEN YOU WROTE "HOLIDAY."

>> NO, STEPHEN, WE ACTUALLY

WROTE IT FOR TOMMY HILFIGER.

♪ HOLIDAY, THE BEST TIME OF THE

YEAR ♪♪

>> Stephen: SO IT'S ON A

HOLIDAY FROM UNATTRACTIVE

PEOPLE.

DO YOU HAVE A RESPONSE?

>> YOU'RE AN AWESOME COMPETITOR,

BUT CAN YOU BEAT VICTORIA'S

SECRET?

>> VICTORY YES'S SECRET HAS

REINVENTED THE BRA.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: I GOT TO SAY, I

NEVER THOUGHT BREASTS NEEDED A

CO-PAYMENT.

HOW WRONG I WAS.

EZRA, IN THE FACE OF THAT KIND

OF COMPETITION, DO YOU CONCEDE?

>> NEW YORK WE WILL WIN WITH

HEWLETT PACKER.

>> NO, WE WILL WIN WITH SONY

ERICSSON.

>> Stephen: STOP, STOP, STOP.

JIMMY, STOP, STOP, THIS IS

MADNESS.

WE OBVIOUSLY WILL NOT SETTLE IT

THIS WAY.

CLEARLY YOU HAVE BOTH EQUALLY OR

WHORED OUT YOUR MUSIC.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW

THE BREAK THIS DEADLOCK.

I DON'T THOUGH WHAT TO DO.

EZRA, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?

>> I DON'T THINK MUSIC SHOULD BE

A COMPETITION.

THE BLACK PEAS' ALBUM IS GREAT.

YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR THEM.

>>

>> Stephen: WOW, THAT'S GREAT.

BLACK PEA, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING

TO SAY?

>> WE AGREE.

YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR US.

>> WHAT THE [BLEEPED]?

I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING NICE.

>> YOU THOUGHT WRONG, SUCKER.

>> I'M GOING TO WASH THOSE

IRONIC GLASSES RIGHT THROUGH

YOUR SKULL.

>> BRING IT ON!

>> Stephen: GENTLEMEN,

GENTLEMEN, LEAVE SOME FOR DADDY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

OKAY.

HERE ARE THE RULES: MY GRAMMY

VOTE GOES TO WHOEVER HAS TEETH

LEFT.

GET IT ON!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WAIT!

WHO ARE YOU?

>> I'M FROM THE NATIONAL ACADEMY

OF THE RECORDING ARTS AND

SCIENCES.

STEPHEN, IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR YOU

TO SELL OR TRADE YOUR VOTE FOR

THE GRAMMY AWARDS.

ON PENALTY OF YOU BEING STRIPPED

OF YOUR GRAMMY.

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE IT,

OLD MAN?

>> I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR FACE.

GET HIM!

>> HE CAN'T TAKE IT.

WE'LL