Jeff Dunham - Walter and His Wife Visit Amsterdam

Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos Season 1, Ep 1 09/25/2011 Views: 157,913

Walter discusses his wife's transformation since they got married and describes their trips abroad. (2:33)

Your wife's quite beautiful.

You saw an old photo.

Yeah, I'm kidding, I know.

I married a petite,young, beautiful thing.

Yeah.She was eventually eaten

by the woman I live with now.

(à la Fat Albert):Hey, hey, hey!

You're just flat-out sayingyour wife's overweight.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

She's under-tall.

Have you ever hada weight problem?

Only when she sat on me.Will you...?


Get off of me!

Actually, it's more like this:

(imitating an echo)Hello? ...o...o...o...

It's dark in here!

I found your keys!...keys...keys...keys...

I am not kidding.

Then she farted andunlocked the car doors.

What does your wife thinkwhen you do things like this?

I don't care.

Well, I know you careenough about your wife

to take her on someof these trips.Oh, yeah.

Yeah, she lovesgoing on these trips.

I know she loveswindow shopping.

Not in Amsterdam, she didn't.


Ha! Because in Amsterdam,

there's hookers in the windows!

I love that city. Did youknow that in Amsterdam,

you can legallypurchase marijuana?

I, uh... yeah...

I did know that.

Do you know where?Coffeehouses.


It's my favoritecoffee place ever!

I'd like a latte and a doobie.

And 19 dozen donuts,thank you.



Not long after that,we went to the UK.

You enjoyed it there.Yeah.

Did you like thecity of London?

I don't know,I got confused one day

standing in our hotel lobby.Why?

Some big old black guywalked in to me

and started speaking Englishwith a British accent.

I thought I was inthe Twilight Zone.

I swear, some big old black guywalks up to me and goes,

(posh British accent):"Oh, good afternoon, sir!"

I'm like, who the hell is makingyou talk? What the hell?