Your wife's quite beautiful.
You saw an old photo.
Yeah, I'm kidding, I know.
I married a petite,young, beautiful thing.
Yeah.She was eventually eaten
by the woman I live with now.
(à la Fat Albert):Hey, hey, hey!
You're just flat-out sayingyour wife's overweight.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Have you ever hada weight problem?
Only when she sat on me.Will you...?
Get off of me!
Actually, it's more like this:
(imitating an echo)Hello? ...o...o...o...
It's dark in here!...here...ere...ere...
I found your keys!...keys...keys...keys...
I am not kidding.
Then she farted andunlocked the car doors.
What does your wife thinkwhen you do things like this?
I don't care.
Well, I know you careenough about your wife
to take her on someof these trips.Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she lovesgoing on these trips.
I know she loveswindow shopping.
Not in Amsterdam, she didn't.
Ha! Because in Amsterdam,
there's hookers in the windows!
I love that city. Did youknow that in Amsterdam,
you can legallypurchase marijuana?
I, uh... yeah...
I did know that.
Do you know where?Coffeehouses.
It's my favoritecoffee place ever!
I'd like a latte and a doobie.
And 19 dozen donuts,thank you.
Not long after that,we went to the UK.
You enjoyed it there.Yeah.
Did you like thecity of London?
I don't know,I got confused one day
standing in our hotel lobby.Why?
Some big old black guywalked in to me
and started speaking Englishwith a British accent.
I thought I was inthe Twilight Zone.
I swear, some big old black guywalks up to me and goes,
(posh British accent):"Oh, good afternoon, sir!"
I'm like, who the hell is makingyou talk? What the hell?