Jeff Ross - Roseanne & the Chocolate Factory

Season 1 , Ep 101 08/12/12 Views: 147,027

Jeff Ross explains one of his jokes to Roseanne and reveals why he wouldn't vote for her. (1:18)

I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU

YOU'VE BEEN TORTUREDAND ABUSED ALL NIGHT,

AND YOU'RE STILL HANGINGIN THERE.

- WHO ME?

- ROSEANNE,I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

I'M TALKING TO THE CHAIRYOU'RE SITTING ON.

[laughter]

OH, WAIT.YOU KNOW WHAT?

NORMALLY WHEN I ROAST A PIG,IT HAS AN APPLE IN ITS MOUTH.

[audience gasps]

[cheers and applause]

AFTER OUR LAST ROAST I SAID,

"WE NEED SOMEONE EVEN BIGGERTHAN CHARLIE SHEEN,"

BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT.

LAST YEAR WE ROASTED CHARLIE,

THIS YEAR WE'RE ROASTINGTHE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

- THE WHAT?

WHAT'S THAT JOKE?

- YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAINTHE FUCKIN' JOKES TO YOU?

- I DIDN'T HEAR IT.WHAT WAS IT?

- IT MEANS YOU'RE FAT.

- OH.OKAY.

[laughter]

- I'M LOOKING FORWARDTO YOUR NEW SHOW,

"TONS OF ANARCHY."

[laughter]

INSTEAD OFRUNNING FOR PRESIDENT,

WHY DON'T YOU TRY WALKINGON A TREADMILL?

I'D VOTE FOR YOU,

BUT I'M AGAINST BIG GOVERNMENT!

- OH!

- ROSEANNE JOINEDTHE GREEN PARTY

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