A lot of guy-girl roommatesin this city,
not fucking, just livingtogether as friend roommates.
That's insanity to me.
That is asinine, to livewith a girl you're not fucking.
Fellas, if you do that,and I mean this--
harsh sentence here,but hear me out.
Fellas, if you live witha girl you're not fucking,
you have no respect for women.
You have no respect for them.
You don't knowwhat you're capable of.
Men, we're garbage.
And you got to knowwhat you're capable of.
Listen, when men have our--when our balls are full--
This is a hackneyed subjectat this point,
but it's justthe facts of life.
When our balls are full,
we are a different human beingthan when our balls are empty.
Does that make sense at all?
So the girl you live withhas to be a girl you're fucking,
or else weird stuff'sgonna happen.
When our balls get full,
we're not the same personas when they're empty.
When our balls are empty,
that's when we're the personthat our parents made.
When my balls are empty
is when I'm doingeverything good in life.
I pay my bills.I shoot hoops.
I say hi to friends.I high-five a lot of people.
When your balls are full--
that's why guys, like,jerk off so much.
You just got to, like,change that state of mind
and get back into the worldfunctioning, empty-balled again.
And when our balls are full,we'll do fucked-up shit.
And to live with a girlwho's just your friend,
like, you're gonna fuckthat friendship up.
I know you will.I would.
If I had a girl roommatewho I wasn't fucking,
two seconds, I'd ruin that.
First time she's like,
"Hey, I'm going to my parents'house for the weekend,"
20 minutes after she leaves,
I'm gonna go smellall of her panties.
then I'm gonna rub her vibratorson my face
while I jerk off with a fistwrapped in her dirty underwear.