The only thing, there wasa guy sitting next to me
smoking all theway through dinner,
which to me is very annoying.
And I know some you ofyou might be smokers.
I can understand smoking.I don't like it.
I understand it.
But smoking while you're eating.
What is that?
You know the kind ofpeople I'm talking about,
take a bite of food,a drag on a cigarette?
What the hell is that for?
What is that, to giveyour food a nice hickory
smoked flavor whileit's going down?
I think maybe it's forpeople who are just
too busy tobarbecue, that's all.
(GRUFF VOICE) Ah, justgive me some raw meat
and a pack of Camels.
I gotta go.
My husband's waiting.
I gotta go.
If you want to smoke,that's your thing.
But I'm a big non-smoker.
I really am.
I don't like being aroundsmokers when they're smoking.
I'm very adamant about it.
I really am.
I won't even kissa woman who smokes.
I-- well, I say that,but let's face it.
I am a man, and think we allknow as far as most men are
concerned, as long as there'sthat possibility of sex,
we'd pretty much kiss a girl whowas hunched over in the corner
shooting up battery acidwith a dirty needle.
But-- hey, don't get me wrong.
I'd use protection.
I'm not crazy.
Elbow pads, motorcyclehelmet, I don't care.
Sex is sex, butobey the helmet law.
That's my philosophy.
No, I don't smoke.I don't drink.
I don't do drugs.
And I like to stay clean.
I get into anargument all the time
with a friend ofmine about drugs.
Because nobody knows whatto do about drugs anymore.
My friend always says, youknow, if you legalize drugs,
people won't takethem anymore, which
I think is kind of astupid argument myself.
I think the only way peoplewould ever stop taking drugs is
if you make themlegal but to get them
you had to pick them up at theDepartment of Motor Vehicles.
What do you mean gosit in the crack line?
I've been on thisline for two hours.
I'm going straight.
Forget about it.
So gays are upset,because they're
being banned from the military.
Maybe they're all upset aboutthat I don't quite understand
why they're bannedfrom the military,
they don't have to go to wars.
Isn't that a good thing?
I know if they still hadthat ban on black people
in the military, you wouldn'thear me complaining at all.
Quite frankly, I think thereshould be a ban on the military
on blacks, ongays, and on women.
Only whiteheterosexual men should
have to go to foreigncountries to get shot out.
What's the bad part?
I'll take it a step further.
Only white heterosexualmen whose parents make over
$200,000 a year shouldbe allowed to-- That's
been a lot of fun.