Dwayne Kennedy - Mexicans

  • Season 7 , Ep 17
  • 06/05/2003
  • Views: 8,356

Mexicans have the strongest work ethic on earth. (2:38)

HOLIDAY'S COMING.

NOT FOR ME.

CAN'T AFFORD IT.

CHRISTMAS...

I TRIED TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

LAST YEAR AND I DIDN'T HAVE

NO MONEY.

I JUST WENT WINDOW SHOPPING...

WITH A BRICK.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU CAN GET A LOT OF (BLEEP)

WITH A BRICK.

A BRICK IS BETTER THAN CREDIT

CARDS.

I WOULD DO COMMERCIALS

FOR A BRICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

"DO YOU KNOW ME?

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

THAT'S WHY I CARRY THIS...

A BIG ASS BRICK.

A BRICK IS RESPECTED ALL OVER

THE WORLD.

IN ROME...[WINDOW BREAKS])

IN LONDON...[WINDOW BREAKS]

IN LOS ANGELES.

[WINDOW BREAKS]

EXCEPT THE WOMAN I WAS WITH

GOT GREEDY, YOU KNOW?

"I WANT THAT.

GIVE ME SOME OF THEM AND I WANT

THOSE."

"DAMN, BABY, WHAT YOU THINK

I'M MADE OF, BRICKS?

[APPLAUSE]

I USED TO HAVE MONEY, YOU KNOW?

I BELIEVE IN CAPITALISM,

YOU KNOW?

JUST AIN'T GOT NO CAPITAL.

WITHOUT NO CAPITAL YOU AIN'T

GOT NO ISM, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHY SOMETIMES I DRIVE.

I WORK FOR MY SISTER AND

BROTHER IN LAW.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY OWN APARTMENT BUILDINGS

AND I WORK FOR THEM.

ME AND FIVE MEXICAN DUDES,

WE WORK TOGETHER.

WELL, NOT REALLY TOGETHER.

I DROP THEM OFF.

THAT'S MY JOB.

[LAUGHTER]

AND I'M GOOD, TOO.

I CAN DROP YOU RIGHT OFF.

SOME DUDES DROP YOU OFF DOWN

THE STREET...[TIRES SCREECHING]

"HERE WE ARE.

YEAH, I'M NOT (BLEEP) AROUND."

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE THOSE CATS, MAN.

THEY'RE GOOD, MAN.

MEXICAN CATS?

FRIENDLY, MAN.

NICE, FAMILY ORIENTED, MAN.

HARD WORKING-- DON'T THEY?

[APPLAUSE]

YEAH, MAN, MEXICANS WORK HARD.

THEY WORK HARDER THAN EVERYBODY.

MEXICANS GOT THE STRONGEST

WORK ETHIC ON EARTH.

IF MEXICANS HAD BEEN SLAVES,

SLAVERY WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER

REAL QUICK 'CAUSE THEY'D HAVE

DONE 300 YEARS WORTH A WORK

IN ABOUT NINE HOURS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND STILL HAD TIME FOR

A SOCCER GAME.

OH, LORD.

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