Barney's Prank Journal

  • Season 2 , Ep 217
  • 04/25/2012
  • Views: 21,230

Mark reads the journal of Callie's former flame, Barney, and finds out the truth about their relationship. (1:57)

AUGUST 17TH. THOSE FOOLS AT THEDOI.

THEY'VE LEFT ME WITH NOTHINGBUT TIME

TO PLOT MY REVENGE.

DEATH IS TOO GOOD FOR THEM.

THEY SHALL DIE BY PRANK.

- YOU KNOW, THE BLOOD THEY USEDTO WRITE BARNEY'S PRANK JOURNAL

LOOKS SURPRISINGLY REAL.

- PRANK IDEA: REFILL HANDSANITIZER WITH SULFURIC ACID.

PERFECT FOR TWAYNE.

- TO BE FAIR, THAT WOULD BE APRETTY GOOD WAY TO GET TWAYNE.

- CALLIE AND I WERE SOUL MATES.

SHE UNDERSTOOD ME LIKE NO OTHER.

- TWAYNE LOVES RATS.TRY THESE.

- WE WERE TORN APART JUST ASOUR TRUE LOVE BLOSSOMED.

- FREEZE, SCUMBAG.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR THEMURDER OF ERIC FOGELTAINT.

- YOU TOOK AWAY MY HUMANITY,YOU MONSTER.

- BARNEY, NO.I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

- NONE OF THIS CAN BE TRUE.CAN IT?

- MARK, HELP.HE'S STABBING US.

[screaming]

- I READ BARNEY'S JOURNAL.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO BELIEVEANYMORE.

- THE TRUTH IS THAT BARNEY AND IWERE VERY MUCH IN LOVE, MARK.

I'M SORRYYOU HAD TO FIND THAT OUT

WHILE HE'S TRYING TO MURDER YOUAND ALL.

- HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEONELIKE THAT?

HE IS SUCH A DOUCHE-NOZZLE.

- BECAUSE I'M A DEMON, MARK.

EVIL IS LITERALLYOUR SOLE CHARACTERISTIC.

- THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH ME?

- [sighs] I DON'T KNOW.

AT FIRST, IT WAS JUSTTO PISS OFF MY DAD.

AND THEN IT WASTO SEXUALLY HUMILIATE YOU.

AND THEN IT WASBECAUSE YOU HAVE PREMIUM CABLE.

I GUESS AT SOME POINT, I JUSTGOT USED TO HAVING YOU AROUND.

- CALLIE, ARE YOU STILLIN LOVE WITH BARNEY?

- I DON'T KNOW. OKAY?

I'M A WOMAN IN MY 20s.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.

- I WONDER WHATTHE RETURN POLICY IS ON THIS.

- HI. YELLOW CAB?

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