Sandra Bernhard - Dateline

Bobcat Goldthwait & Mark Roberts Season 1, Ep 58 02/24/1992 Views: 2,301

Sandra divulges Stone Phillips' darkest secrets. (2:46)

IT'S LIKE A FREAK SHOW TONIGHT.

DATELINE IS FOLLOWING ME TO DO A BIG 13-MINUTE SEGMENT

DOWN TO THE ABSOLUTE SECOND.

LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE'S...

STONE PHILLIPS IS HEREAND WE DROVE OVER FROM MY HOUSE.

HAD A LONG CHAT-- A REAL INTIME,INTIMATE MOMENT.

ME AND STONEGOT VERY FUNKY AND REAL

AND REVEALED OUR CHILDHOODSTO EACH OTHER.

SOME INFORMATIONWAS UNWARRANTED.

( laughter )

STONE WAS RIVETED TO ME.

HE SMASHEDINTO A COUPLE OF SEMIS.

I COULDN'T...

( laughter )

THEY ALWAYS SENDTHE MEN TO DO THE WOMEN.

THEY DON'T WANT A WOMANTO INTERVIEW A WOMAN.

THERE COULD BE IMPLICATIONS.

( laughter )

THEY'RE AFRAIDTHERE MIGHT BE A BIZARRE ENERGY

THAT GETS STRUCK UPBETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM

AND CAN TURNINTO AN ON-CAMERA TENSION.

HIS FIRST INTERVIEWWAS WITH CARLY SIMON.

SHE STARTED OFF BITCHYBUT THEN GOT VERY NICE.

I HOPE I'M NOT GIVING AWAYANY SECRETS.

HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO SUE ME,OR I'LL GET A CALL FROM CARLY--

WHO'S VERY COMPETITIVEWITH WOMEN, BY THE WAY--

MISS CARLY "I CAN'T GIVEA MINUTE TO YOU" SIMON.

( laughter )

YOU KNOW WHAT'S BRILLIANTABOUT CARLY?

SHE GOES AROUND TO ALLTHE BOUTIQUES IN NEW YORK

AND PASSES OUT HER TAPES.

I SAW HERUP AND DOWN COLUMBUS AVENUE.

"WHAT IN THE HELLIS CARLY SIMON DOING?"

( laughter )

AND SHE WAS CARRYING A BASKETOF SANDWICHES WITH HER...

GOING IN AND OUTOF BEAUTY SALONS.

YOU KNOW HOW IN BEVERLY HILLSAT ALL THE BEAUTY SALONS

THEY SELL SANDWICHESAND FRUIT BASKETS?

YOU THINK,"THIS IS GOING TO BE DELISH."

YOU OPEN ITAND THINGS HAVE SOAKED INTO IT.

THE SANDWICHES ARE KINDOF LIKE SPONGES

AND THEY TASTE KIND OF LIKESTRAWBERRIES AND PAPAYAS

AND A NICE HAM ON RYE, MMM.

( laughter )

ARE YOU REALLY FROM MY KIBBUTZ?

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN VERY YOUNGWHEN I WAS THERE.

( speaking Hebrew )

I, WELL, I, UH,...

LIKE I TOLD HER, MY HEBREWHAS GONE, SHOT TO HELL.

YOU WERE A CHILD.

I WAS ON A KIBBUTZ IN ISRAEL

AND SOMEBODYFROM THE KIBBUTZ IS HERE!

I'M GOING TO CRY!

♪ AVENU SHALOM ALEICHEM... ♪

( applause )

DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOWYOU'RE OVER HERE?

RABBLE ROUSING WITH SOMETOUGH-LOOKING CHICKS.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST GOT OFFTHE BACK OF A MOTORCYCLE.

A NICE JEWISH GIRLFROM A KIBBUTZ

NEXT THING I KNOWSHE'S IN SANTA MONICA

WITH A MOTORCYCLE GANG!

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,YOU EXPLAIN.

WOW!