Damon Wayans - Celebrity Adoption

  • Season 9 , Ep 906
  • 01/27/2006
  • Views: 16,447

Celebrity adoption annoys Damon Wayans. (1:34)

BECAUSE IT'S SO PHONY OUT THERE.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE NEW TREND IN HOLLYWOOD IS,

ALL THESE WHITE STARS ADOPTING BLACK KIDS, YOU KNOW, RIGHT?

TOM CRUISE GOT A COUPLE. SPIELBERG'S GOT A COUPLE.

BUT YOU NEVER SEE THEM WITH THEM, YOU KNOW.

I HAVEN'T MET LITTLE TYRONE LAMONT SPIELBERG YET.

[LAUGHTER]

AND ANGELINA JOLIE JUST GOT ONE.

SHE WENT OVER AND GOT ONE OF THEM MOLIKI-EYE KIDS,

- IT'S LIKE THEY-- - [LAUGHTER]

THEY COME BACK-- THEY COME WITH EYE DROPS.

BUT YOU KNOW I'M ALL FOR THAT.

BUT WE GOT A BUNCH OF KIDS HERE THAT COULD BE ADOPTED.

[APPLAUSE]

IT'S JUST A STATUS SYMBOL,YOU KNOW.

THEY WANNA HAVE SOMETHINGNOBODY ELSE GOT.

IT'S LIKE YEAH, THIS IS THE 2005 CAMBODIAN.

THEY ONLY MADE SEVEN MILLION OF THESE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M THINKING ABOUT ADOPTING ME A LITTLE WHITE KID, YOU KNOW,

LITTLE JEWISH KID. LET HIM DO MY TAXES.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LIKE, "JAIME, COME IN HERE AND CLOSE THIS DEAL.

I NEED YOU TO CLOSE THIS DEAL, MAN."

BUT YOU KNOW THEY WOULDN'T LET ME

ADOPT A WHITE KID.THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

IF I WENT DOWN THERE, AND SAY, "YOU KNOW, I WANT THIS LITTLE

FRECKLE-FACE REDHEAD RIGHT THERE," THEY BE LIKE,

"NO. WE GOT THE 2005 CAMBODIAN."

[LAUGHTER]

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