Uncensored - Chris D'Elia - Black Dudes Are the Best at Hitting on Girls

Chris D'Elia: White Male. Black Comic. Season 1, Ep 101 11/20/2013 Views: 14,506

Chris D'Elia is amazed by how rude some people can be when they're hitting on women. (2:23)

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THEY'RE THE BEST WITH GIRLS,AT LEAST FROM WHAT I SEE, MAN.

BRITISH -- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THEY'RE NOT THE BESTAT HITTING ON GIRLS.

YOU KNOW WHO THE BESTAT HITTING ON GIRLS ARE?

BLACK DUDES, FOR REAL,HANDS DOWN, YEAH, RIGHT.

WHITE CHICK WITH A BLACK DUDERIGHT THERE, THAT'S HOW HE...

RIGHT?

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE BLACK DUDES,THAT'S WHY --

YO, A BRITISH DUDEWILL BE HITTING ON A GIRL,

AND THEN A BLACK DUDE ROLLS UP.

BRITISH DUDE KNOWS GAME OVER,FOR REAL.

YEAH, A BRITISH DUDEWILL BE LIKE...

[ British accent ] "HELLO.HOW ARE YOU DOING?

"YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.OH, A BLACK GUY.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

[ Normal voice ] YEAH, MAN,

BUT BLACK DUDES HAVE THATCONFIDENCE, THOUGH, THAT SWAG.

THEY'LL JUST SAY ANYTHINGTO A GIRL, RIGHT?

A BLACK DUDEWILL JUST ROLL UP TO A GIRL,

JUST BE LIKE, "YEAH!ALL RIGHT, OKAY, OH, HELL NO!"

YEAH, ALL RIGHT!HELL NO! YEAH!"

THEY JUST START ANSWERINGQUESTIONS THAT NOBODY ASKED.

"YEAH, ALL RIGHT.HELL NO. I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.

I'M ON THE FENCE. YEAH!'LORD OF THE RINGS'!

"WHAT?I THOUGHT YOU --

I THOUGHT YOU ASKED MEMY FAVORITE TRILOGY."

[ LAUGHS ]

BLACK DUDES GOT THAT CONFIDENCE,MAN.

SOME BLACK DUDESWILL SAY RUDE THINGS TO GIRLS

AND STILL GET LAID.

THAT'S HOW MUCH CONFIDENCETHEY HAVE, RIGHT?

YOU EVER HEARD A BLACK DUDEJUST LIKE,

"YO, MA, HOW YOU FIT ALL THATIN THEM JEANS?"

HOW IS THAT NOT THE RUDEST THINGEVER?

TO SAY TO SOMEBODYYOU NEVER MET BEFORE?!

"YO, MA, YOU'RE TOO BIGTO BE WEARING THEM PANTS.

"YEAH! YEAH, WHAT'D YOU DO,ZIP THEM UP WITH PLIERS?

"THAT'S WHAT'S UP?

"YEAH, Y'ALL GOTHIGH CHOLESTEROL AND WHATNOT,

"DON'T YOU, MA, YEAH!

"WHAT'D YOU DO --JUMP OFF A BUILDING

AND DIVE INTO THOSE PANTS?YEAH!"

AND THE GIRL'S JUST LIKE,"OH, MY GOD,

I WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICKRIGHT NOW."

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

"'LORD OF THE RINGS'!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

I CAN NEVER TELL A GIRLHOW SHE FIT ALL THAT

IN THOSE JEANS -- NO WAY!A WHITE DUDE? ME?!

HEY, FIRST OF ALL, I WOULDMESS THAT UP IMMEDIATELY.

I WOULD JUST BE LIKE,"EXCUSE ME.

UM, MA'AM, YOU KNOW, UH..."

"UH, YOU'RE A FAT BITCH.OH SHIT."

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ BLOWS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE ]

"'LORD OF THE RINGS,''LORD OF THE RINGS.'"