Tony Woods - Africa

  • Season 5 , Ep 8
  • 08/19/2001
  • Views: 6,684

Anybody would be scared by eight naked pygmies. (2:37)

ASHAMED AT SOME OF THESE THINGS

I'M TELLING YOU GUYS.

BUT, IT'S ALL GOOD, MAN.

I HAVE TO TAKE A LOOK BACK HERE

AT MY ROOM.

I GUESS THAT'S MY LIFE.

YOU CAN LOOK AT THE ROOM AND SEE

I'VE BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I WENT TO AFRICA LAST YEAR.

ANY OF YOU GUYS EVER BEEN

TO AFRICA?

(CHEERING)

ALL RIGHT!

OKAY, I DIDN'T GO TO AFRICA.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T GO TO LIKE,

AFRICA AFRICA, LIKE YOU'RE

THINKING.

BUT, I SMOKED A JOINT AND

WATCHED THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL...

IT IS THE SAME THING.

I WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE JUNGLE.

I STARTED TAKING ALL MY CLOTHES

OFF.

THEY HAD A SPECIAL ON--

ABOUT THE PYGMIES.

YOU KNOW THE PYGMIES, RIGHT?

THEY LITTLE DUDES.

THEY'RE NOT MIDGETS,

THEY'RE JUST LITTLE DUDES.

AND THE WHOLE SPECIAL WAS ABOUT

THEM TRYING TO KILL AN ELEPHANT.

THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY--

NO GUNS, NO SPEARS.

THEY JUST JUMPED HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, YOU LAUGH, BUT IMAGINE

EIGHT LITTLE BLACK DUDES WITH

NO CLOTHES ON JUST COME OUT,

AH-AH!

THAT'D SCARE ANYBODY.

ALL THEY HAD FOR WEAPONS

WERE THESE LITTLE STRAW THINGS

(SPITBALL SOUNDS)

YOU KNOW, THE ELEPHANT WAS GOING

(ELEPHANT SOUNDS)

THEY STILL HAD A HARD TIME

KILLING THE ELEPHANT.

BUT, YOU KNOW, AFTER WE FINALLY

KILLED HIM...

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT?

OH, YOU KNOW, I SAID "WE",

BECAUSE BY THAT TIME, I JUST

STEPPED RIGHT INTO THE TV.

I WAS RIGHT THERE WITH THEM.

BUTT-NECKED.

NOTHIN' ON BUT SANDALS.

BECAUSE I HAVE VERY SENSITIVE

FEET.

THEN WE HAD TO DRAG THIS

ELEPHANT BACK TO THE VILLAGE.

WE GET BACK, THERE'S A BIG

CELEBRATION.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE THE BIG FEAST,

THERE'S A BIG CELEBRATION.

THEY HAVE A CEREMONY-- LIKE 50

WOMEN LINED UP IN A CHORUS LINE,

SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH

HEADDRESSES ON AND EVERYTHING

AND THEY'RE SINGING THIS

BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN MELODY THAT

JUST ECHOES THROUGH THE FOREST,

THEY'RE ALL LIKE

(SINGS THE PYGMY TUNE)

HEY!

THESE ARE NOT HANDS

(SINGING CONTINUES)

AND I WAS LIKE, YEAH--

THIS IS A PARTY RIGHT HERE!

I JUST WENT DOWN THE LINE...

(LAUGHTER)

I GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS)

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